Spiritual Things Matter

Keep me away from wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.
~Kahlil Gibran

I received an unexpected gift in the mail yesterday from a very dear friend of mine in Germany. I opened it up with curiosity and found a little heart sachet, which now graces my kitchen, and a beautiful little necklace. After receiving this gift yesterday, I found myself filled with gratitude, laughter and joy. Thus, I would like to share this story:

My years in the orphanage were filled with a variety of social workers which always brought with it a different dimension to the group. There were six different groups, each having their own building and their own two social workers. Each group consisted of 15-18 boys and girls of all ages. The entire structure was closed off by a white wall. The duration of each social worker would vary. Two of the groups had social workers that stayed for years. Most however, stayed for a time and then moved on for various reasons. Our group usually had new social workers every two years.

Simone was a young woman that replaced an older, matronly lady. Her presence in our group was very welcome and needed. Her youth brought with it a vivacious and happy spirit, which was refreshing to our souls. Her sense of style awakened in us a “non-orphan mentality”. When it came time to buy new clothes, she would help pick “stylish” items out and we all began to look a little nicer. We felt so proud!

What I cherished most about Simone though, was her genuineness and authenticity towards each of us. She encouraged us to write our thoughts down on paper. She then would take the time to read them and talk with us about them. She sat and helped many of us create photo albums, which I have to this day. Often, she would embrace us with such warmth and sincerity, that for many of us it was the first time where we have been physically acknowledged in such a way. Her embraces came usually with much laughter and a light heart. Our loneliness would dissipate, even if just for a moment. Wearing her red lipstick, she would often give us a kiss on the cheek and we would not dare wash it off for days. It was a sign to us of our specialness and our value.

Activities such as hiking, biking and taking walks, took on new joy and excitement. Somehow there was more meaning now and life seemed to have changed for us. The energy in our group had transformed. She was not afraid to express her emotions fully and thus encouraged us to do the same. Her laughter was a brook of refreshment for us and, I believe, an awakening to greater hopes. Somehow we realized that the world is bigger than the confines of our orphanage.

At times, Simone’s fiance, Heiner, would come and visit. We would rough-house with him and have pillow fights as children would only do with a father. I have a photograph, where many of us were piled on top of him. How he was able to breathe, I don’t know. Being a photographer, he took many wonderful black and white pictures of us and gave them to us as gifts.

It was always sad when it came time for Simone to have some time off or go on vacation. The group simply was not the same without her. We would feel the loss of her presence immensely. Then of course, the time came when she married her fiance and left us for good. After she left, our group changed. The closeness and warmth we felt was gone. We were graced with her presence for two years. It was the best years that I had spent in the orphanage. Years that had enriched my life and added dimensions of depth and color - for which I am deeply thankful. The gift that she left behind, deep in our hearts, is a gift that I do not think she was aware of. The effects, however, were far reaching.

Over the years, I would often think of Simone. I would hear her laughter echo in my soul during times of extreme sadness and disparity. I would envision her white teeth that could only be seen when one laughs fully from the heart. The energy of her laughter would help me to look for answers and to find meaningful ways to work through my pain. This same energy would also help me to know again and again that life has many possibilities and many genuinely happy moments. It was a gift that has stayed with me to this day and indeed, it was medicine for my own saddened and down-trodden heart as I have worked to find my own path in life.

My love for this person created in me a desire to find her again. Through a mutual friend, I was able to locate her after 25 years. Arriving at the airport and seeing her for the first time, after so many years had past, was an experience that cannot be put into words. I had found a kindred spirit again. Her laughter welcomed me as her arms embraced me. I felt at home!

Simone and Heiner, who brought so much laughter and fun-filled moments into our lives, welcomed me with open arms. What a joy it was to see both of them again! After the birth of my baby girl, Simone flew to the United States to pay me and my family a visit as well. I felt deeply moved and honored by this gesture of thoughtfulness and love.

This then, is a great picture of what Simone is all about. She is not only about projecting great ideals, flowered with beautiful words, but she sets into motion passions which matter most in her life. Her realness, authenticity and love of life speak volumes of wisdom and joy to my heart. Having shared herself fully with children that were not her own, shows the warmth and kindness of her heart. The wisdom that she displayed at such a young age, as she interacted with each of us, was beyond her years. I have gained great spiritual insight through her passions and love for life. For that, I am deeply thankful!

May her laughter always pierce through the darkness, pain and suffering of others.

Viola Jaynes

Though a friend may be far away,
love and prayer will keep him always in the heart.
~Viola Jaynes

As I remember a friend’s birthday today, I contemplated all the blessings I desire for this friend. Friendships are treasures that have been found and gracing it with our blessings and our prayers is the best way to care for such a treasure.

May there be Peace always in your heart.
May the joys of life take you higher than your
expectations ever thought possible.
May you always know love’s rich, abiding presence.

May you dream large and realize the impossible…
May your eyes be sharp and focused to see your way.
May you always hear the Truth with your ears -
as you listen with your heart.
And may your heart love deeply and understand.

May your time of marriage bring wholeness to your being.
May your time of parenting bring wisdom to your heart.
May your time of friendships bring diversity and understanding.
May your time of laboring bring satisfaction and wealth.

I pray that in those times when pain visits your heart -
that you will never despair.
I pray for God’s endless Love to embrace you.
I pray for God’s guidance - that He may keep you always safe.
I pray for tears to be cherished -
as they transform and solidify your strivings.

I pray for God’s gentle nudging to reveal Himself in you.
I pray for spiritual teachers to help guide your path.
I pray for humility to clothe you -
and strength of courage to lead the way.

I pray for kindness and tenderness to see life’s pain.
I pray for a discerning heart that others may find clarity along the way.
I pray that you will never forget to kneel and pray -
and to love and worship God with all of your heart.

And as you walk the journey that you have chosen for yourself, I pray that you will be fulfilled in every area of your life. That you may know your laughter and your tears completely as your own. That you may passionately embrace the meaning of your own soul and understand the workings of God’s Grace, and Wisdom in your life. Today, I pray for you my friend. May you be blessed with blessings yet unseen! Always!

Happy Birthday and live well!

Lovingly your friend always,
Viola

Peace begins with a smile.
~Mother Teresa

As I stepped outside today, I took a long breath in appreciation of the freshness of the air which the rain had left behind. All the colors looked richer and expressed their beauty yet more refined. The birds sounded cheerful and seemed to sing a song of gratitude for yet another loving reminder that a wonderfully unseen Hand holds all together.

As I sat to take in a moment of gratitude, I thought of a little girl at the Zoo the other day. My family was in an exhibit and I was sitting on a bench, savoring some ice cream. It was a beautiful spring like day. I could feel the sun penetrate through my clothes and I felt comforted by its warmth. I closed my eyes as I listened to the background noise of people talking and children laughing. The animals seemed especially happy for it was an unusually beautiful day.

I opened my eyes and just then, a little girl about eight years old, passed by me. She held on to her father’s hand and I could tell in her eyes that her life was endowed with love. She was beautiful as I saw the richness of her interior through her eyes. Her eyes danced with innocence and beauty. I smiled at her and she quickly and tenderly smiled back at me. I watched her as she and her father passed by me. Then she turned once more to smile at me, as if to say, “Thank you for noticing me today. You’ve seen a treasure in me that I did not know I had. You’ve awakened in me an awareness of that which is around me and its beauty has enriched my life.” I smiled back with as much tenderness as she had just given me. Only a short moment passed when she, once again, turned to give me one more smile. I smiled back, nodded my head and waved my hand to her.

It was a beautiful and very meaningful moment. I held her close to my heart and prayed that God will keep her safe in His tender care. That she may know true happiness and come to understand, that the tears she will shed will bring deeper understanding of the mysteries that this life holds.

I could not help but think of all the children in the world whose eyes are dimmed with sorrow and the dance of joy cannot be seen. I thought of the many children who live in abuse and pain so unbearable, that the only thing they can do is to create an inward world where they can hide themselves in order to feel safe. They cannot express their loneliness and desperation, thus, only the streams of their tears that are shed in darkness, will keep life flowing for them.

Oh, how I long for these children to feel the safety, happiness and contentment of that little girl at the Zoo. Might they find peace and rest in their hearts as they carve out their own way in this life. Might they find understanding hearts and loving smiles to aid in their healing, as they dare to emerge from their very closed in world. May we all smile many tender smiles at others, since we know not on whose heart they may fall.

Viola Jaynes

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.~Paul Boese

Forgiveness is a virtue that grows and expands further the more it is practiced. It is a divine virtue that allows us to touch God Himself. It is through forgiveness that we have the opportunity to touch a human life in a profoundly personal way and perhaps change the course of that life forever. Forgiveness allows us to look at a human being in the rawness of its form and realize that this very rawness lies deep within ourselves. It is through this meeting of ourselves that judgement ceases.

Forgiveness does not mean, however, that we condone or participate in a path that brings pain and suffering to another. One must be wise to separate from such a path and to continue a journey towards greater understanding of love and peace.

I think of my mother, as I contemplate forgiveness. I had only met her one time for about one hour. At the time I did not even realize who she was until after she left and someone told me. In my heart of hearts, however, there seemed to be a recognition of sorts. Then about nine years ago, I started to search for her, primarily to gain understanding. I realized very quickly, however, that she was not able to look at her life and recall events as they were. I think it was just too painful for her. I made a decision to simply accept her as she was - no further questions were necessary. I did not want to add to her pain or to her burden.

When I was a child, I knew she lived only a few hours from where my orphanage was. Yet, I never received one visit from her, or a birthday greeting, or a Christmas remembrance. She signed papers for my brothers to be adopted and yet she never released papers for me to be adopted. It was painful to be left behind two times. When I left Germany to move to the United States, I did not get a farewell from her. When I married she was not there to wish me love’s blessings. When I had my babies, she was not there to welcome them into this world. I have felt an aloneness in my life as only a child who had no parents would feel. Somehow, I imagine, that having a mother covers so much pain and fear as her safe presence envelops a child’s journey into adulthood.

Shortly after I made contact with my mother, I found out that she was dying from lung cancer. As I made several attempts to go and visit her, she disappeared each time and only returned after she knew I had come back to the States. It was apparent she was fearful of our meeting. I sent flowers to the hospital to reach out with care, and I had my children draw pictures for her. I mustered the courage to call her on the phone only to be surprised how tender she sounded. I realized that I simply did not know this person. Her life was broken and I believe her heart was too. In my heart, I embraced her tenderly. I prayed that God might pour His warm, healing oil into the wounds that have gone deep into her soul. I prayed for a tender kiss on her brow as she lay awaiting to die. It was my mother and I had one more chance to touch her in some meaningful way. Once I had learned that she died, I wept. I was glad that her pain and suffering had ceased. She lived her life in how she perceived life. That was her journey, that was her understanding, and that was her path to grow.

I somehow realized that there was really nothing to forgive. I came through her womb, yet, it was never meant for me to grow with her presence by my side. Instead, my path has created in me a hunger and desire to search out meaning, wisdom,truth, love and God. It is a journey that I have chosen to take and in which I continue to grow. It is the only thing that has any real meaning for me and the only thing that makes any real sense.

On the cross, Christ said: “Forgive them, for they know not what they do”. It is ignorance that brings pain to this world and ignorance is what brings pain to each of our lives as we bring pain to each other.

When we bring forgiveness to a human life, it is like a heavy stone that has been changed into a light feather. It is now able to move and dance freely as the wind blows softly on it. It has found new freedom to express its beauty and grace. It has been transformed!

When we receive forgiveness from another, it is like a tender embrace and a warm smile to the soul. “All is well”, it says, “Journey on and let the light of God illuminate your understanding!”

Forgiveness is a treasure that all of us have been given. It is a gift to ourselves, a gift to others and a gift to be received. Forgiveness is the revealing of Divine Love! It is in that Love that all ignorance melts away, and a new dawning has begun. With deep abiding peace we then can say, “God had made no mistakes”!

Viola Jaynes