Spiritual Things Matter

Keep me away from wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.
~Kahlil Gibran

I received an unexpected gift in the mail yesterday from a very dear friend of mine in Germany. I opened it up with curiosity and found a little heart sachet, which now graces my kitchen, and a beautiful little necklace. After receiving this gift yesterday, I found myself filled with gratitude, laughter and joy. Thus, I would like to share this story:

My years in the orphanage were filled with a variety of social workers which always brought with it a different dimension to the group. There were six different groups, each having their own building and their own two social workers. Each group consisted of 15-18 boys and girls of all ages. The entire structure was closed off by a white wall. The duration of each social worker would vary. Two of the groups had social workers that stayed for years. Most however, stayed for a time and then moved on for various reasons. Our group usually had new social workers every two years.

Simone was a young woman that replaced an older, matronly lady. Her presence in our group was very welcome and needed. Her youth brought with it a vivacious and happy spirit, which was refreshing to our souls. Her sense of style awakened in us a “non-orphan mentality”. When it came time to buy new clothes, she would help pick “stylish” items out and we all began to look a little nicer. We felt so proud!

What I cherished most about Simone though, was her genuineness and authenticity towards each of us. She encouraged us to write our thoughts down on paper. She then would take the time to read them and talk with us about them. She sat and helped many of us create photo albums, which I have to this day. Often, she would embrace us with such warmth and sincerity, that for many of us it was the first time where we have been physically acknowledged in such a way. Her embraces came usually with much laughter and a light heart. Our loneliness would dissipate, even if just for a moment. Wearing her red lipstick, she would often give us a kiss on the cheek and we would not dare wash it off for days. It was a sign to us of our specialness and our value.

Activities such as hiking, biking and taking walks, took on new joy and excitement. Somehow there was more meaning now and life seemed to have changed for us. The energy in our group had transformed. She was not afraid to express her emotions fully and thus encouraged us to do the same. Her laughter was a brook of refreshment for us and, I believe, an awakening to greater hopes. Somehow we realized that the world is bigger than the confines of our orphanage.

At times, Simone’s fiance, Heiner, would come and visit. We would rough-house with him and have pillow fights as children would only do with a father. I have a photograph, where many of us were piled on top of him. How he was able to breathe, I don’t know. Being a photographer, he took many wonderful black and white pictures of us and gave them to us as gifts.

It was always sad when it came time for Simone to have some time off or go on vacation. The group simply was not the same without her. We would feel the loss of her presence immensely. Then of course, the time came when she married her fiance and left us for good. After she left, our group changed. The closeness and warmth we felt was gone. We were graced with her presence for two years. It was the best years that I had spent in the orphanage. Years that had enriched my life and added dimensions of depth and color – for which I am deeply thankful. The gift that she left behind, deep in our hearts, is a gift that I do not think she was aware of. The effects, however, were far reaching.

Over the years, I would often think of Simone. I would hear her laughter echo in my soul during times of extreme sadness and disparity. I would envision her white teeth that could only be seen when one laughs fully from the heart. The energy of her laughter would help me to look for answers and to find meaningful ways to work through my pain. This same energy would also help me to know again and again that life has many possibilities and many genuinely happy moments. It was a gift that has stayed with me to this day and indeed, it was medicine for my own saddened and down-trodden heart as I have worked to find my own path in life.

My love for this person created in me a desire to find her again. Through a mutual friend, I was able to locate her after 25 years. Arriving at the airport and seeing her for the first time, after so many years had past, was an experience that cannot be put into words. I had found a kindred spirit again. Her laughter welcomed me as her arms embraced me. I felt at home!

Simone and Heiner, who brought so much laughter and fun-filled moments into our lives, welcomed me with open arms. What a joy it was to see both of them again! After the birth of my baby girl, Simone flew to the United States to pay me and my family a visit as well. I felt deeply moved and honored by this gesture of thoughtfulness and love.

This then, is a great picture of what Simone is all about. She is not only about projecting great ideals, flowered with beautiful words, but she sets into motion passions which matter most in her life. Her realness, authenticity and love of life speak volumes of wisdom and joy to my heart. Having shared herself fully with children that were not her own, shows the warmth and kindness of her heart. The wisdom that she displayed at such a young age, as she interacted with each of us, was beyond her years. I have gained great spiritual insight through her passions and love for life. For that, I am deeply thankful!

May her laughter always pierce through the darkness, pain and suffering of others.

Viola Jaynes