Opportunity to Touch Someone
What is to give light must endure burning. ~Victor Frankl
The experience of having lived most of my childhood in an orphanage has brought with it many hidden challenges but it has also brought many blessings into my life. The result has been a continual journey to find meaning and truth, which has led me to God.
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking with an elderly man who stated that he thought I had a keen sense of who I am. He recognized strength and independence due to the fact that I have had to take care of myself so much of the time. His kindness almost embarrassed me. However, I also am very aware that in the process of parenting myself, I have sometimes overlooked areas to which I didn’t realize that I should pay attention. Through a sheer stubbornness and will to survive and live, I failed to nurture a very frail area within myself - and that is the fear of rejection. Dealing with that fear and then learning how to let it go has been very hard but has also given me valuable lessons. As a result of this fear, there have been a few times when I have hurt someone that I cared for deeply because, I felt so certain that they would eventually go away as well. That has deeply saddened me.
Another main thing that has been with me ever since I was a very young child is a sense of aloneness. It is a feeling of disconnectedness, of separation and of brokenness. It is as though I have always looked for something and have never been able to find it and yet, I keep looking for it still. As a young woman, living on my own, deep crying periods would often happen, because of this feeling of not belonging and simply being alone in this world. It is a pain that is hard to put into words but as a result, I drew closer to God. Also during this time, I often failed to build solid human relationships, which was just my way of self-protection. Never allowing myself to get into difficult and challenging situations was good on one hand, but it also nursed my feeling of aloneness.
As I started to mature, I began to notice that a strong sensitivity to the feelings of other people had developed in me. Tuning into them, I was often able to even feel their pain. This empathy brought about a sense of righteous indignation when I saw injustice done to others and I began to stand up for those who felt afflicted. Sometimes, unfortunately, I found myself standing totally alone.
A desire has been nurtured in me to help people feel special, no matter their background, educational level or socio-economic status. I realize now that my sense of aloneness wasn’t just because I was an orphan, but that many people suffer silently from this very same feeling in their life. Many people feel trapped in their aloneness and feel that they have nowhere to go. Many have family and loved ones around them, yet still have a sense of isolation and aloneness. They need love, tenderness, compassion and understanding, which must be energized by spiritual commitment for it to be effective. A place of such aloneness is indeed a very difficult and painful place to be.
Love is one of the greatest things we are able to give to others. It is a healer beyond scope. It liberates souls into a space of acceptance and peace as nothing else can do. It brings with it such joy and understanding, and it brings with it a sense of belonging as one is seen and acknowledged by someone.
Too often we busy ourselves with so much activity and we overlook what really matters in life. A kind word, a tender look, a phone call to simply let someone know that you’re thinking of him or her, could mean so much. Perhaps extending an invitation to lunch, then letting them know that you are praying for them, and then, really doing so.
Each and every person has a story to tell and each one of us has endured deep pain in our lives. If we can make that pain a friend and use it to touch the lives around us, then we have grown a little more on our spiritual journey. More importantly, we have brought God to yet - another heart.
That is the true purpose in life!
This has really piqued my interest.
Much to think- and write about.
The issue of ‘aloneness’ has many implications.
Comment by sigmund, carl and alfred — March 23, 2007 @ 7:45 pm
Siggy, thank you for visiting me here! Yes, I would love to read a post on this subject on your site. You are always very thought provoking and interesting to read. Thanks again!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — March 23, 2007 @ 8:40 pm
Viola I have only known you for a short time and I think that you are such a wonderful caring lady that I’m blessed to know.
Comment by Rose — March 24, 2007 @ 2:34 am
Rose, I feel the same way about you. Thank you for your kindness!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — March 24, 2007 @ 2:44 am
This is a great inspirational story and yes if we can touch the life of someone with kindness and love then that’s what life is about.
Steve
Comment by Steve — March 27, 2007 @ 8:43 am
Forgiveness is difficult to manage for some. It often takes time to manage full forgiveness. I have forgiven many travesties and more in my life. You are right, definitely manifestation of God’s love, that’s what forgiveness would be. My favorite paragraph in this starts “How much stronger is the power of forgiveness which ultimately is the power of love.” A perfect depiction of forgiveness. Nice job.
Laura
Comment by LANEF — April 3, 2007 @ 1:54 pm