Spiritual Things Matter

Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
~Kahlil Gibran

It was July 29th, a day that would be seared into my heart and mind forever. It was a day that I felt the pain of loss and it would be a loss felt so deeply and so intensely that only tears shed could bring even the smallest amount of relief. It was a day that should have never happened the way it did, and yet nothing could stop it

As a piercing sharp pain went into my heart, I could only collapse over the steering wheel of my vehicle and sob, as I had not done in many years. I cried so hard that I lost all awareness of time and I entered into a space of profound aloneness, sadness, and grief. I had enough of an awareness to understand that the intensity of my pain was even more acute because of past losses that were so ingrained into the memories of every cell of my being. An open wound that has never been healed was once again injured, and the pain was excruciating.

It was in that moment when tears were streaming down my face, as if a dam had been broken, and I could hear and feel myself struggling to breathe when all at once, a song began to play on a CD that I had never listened to before. Why it was in the CD player and turned to that song at that very moment is a question that I can only answer by saying, “Amazing Grace.” This song stirred in me, once again, the “knowing” that God was with me. It was a song that I believe when it was written, God thought of me. I would love to know the person who wrote it and sang it. The words are beautiful and so fitting, as if I had written them myself. The music reached deep into my soul as it brought me into the presence of God. Thank you, Reckless Fingers, for “Walk with Me“! I want to share the words here with my dear readers today:

When I feel that I can’t go on,
When doors are closing upon me.
When friends turn away,
shrug their shoulders and say,
“We never were one of a kind anyway.”

When I know that the moment has come,
When I’m out and alone on my own.
That’s the time when I most
need someone to be close
and walk with me right down that road that I chose.

Then walk with me
He who has said,
“My Name is, I’ll be with you.”
Courage and faith I have only so little of.
So Lord, let me know that your Name is true.

Now my heart is heavy with sorrow,
but there is no way that I can let it show.
And it seems all my days -
it just has been this way,
whenever I’m weary, I’ve no place to go.

And I’ve heard of some people talking,
who claim that in heaven above -
we’re rewarded someday for our suffering today -
But Lord, I can’t wait for your help all that long.

Then walk with me,
He who has said,
“My Name is, I’ll be with you.”
Courage and faith I have only so little of.
So Lord, let me know that your Name is true.

~Reckless Fingers

God has many names. One name that we are all very familiar with is, “Emanuel” - which means “God with us.” This is an abiding truth for which I am deeply thankful. No matter what the sufferings are in our lives, we can forever trust in an abiding Presence who will bring strength and courage to our very tired soul at times - if we will but turn to Him. It is in those divine moments that we have the opportunity to know God more intimately as we experience His Love. It is through such a face-to-face encounter with God that we learn to be kinder and more loving to ourselves as well as to those around us. It is in our sufferings that we often see God’s wisdom, and we realize that happiness is a simple gift that can be embraced as we accept ourselves and this holy God that lives within us. Many of our illusions and pain can be healed by this very important, spiritual truth.

May you be comforted and strengthened today and all your days on this earth. May you know God’s love intimately and always have the courage to turn to Him with all your cares. May you rise with assuredness as you learn to love Him and those around you, that you may be one of the peacemakers upon our earth. May you walk humbly before your God and worship Him with purity and sincerity of heart. May your understanding be opened to the truth that He indeed is greater in you than all else in this world. Mostly, I pray that you now be still and be at peace!

Honor the moment of suffering for in such is the kernel of knowledge. Turn inward for in the stillness will be your strength. ~Diane Ethridge

From the very beginning of life, a journey begins in our hearts that will eventually find either a peaceful ending or one of sadness and regret. How enlightening it is when it is realized that this is usually a choice completely of our own making. A choice that I pray will be wise and thoughtfully lived out as our heart travels through this life.

As we learn to be open to life’s experiences, we allow our heart to take note of all the wonderful emotions that we as human beings have been granted. It takes wonderment and curiosity as only a child possesses to live life to its fullest, and to let our heart expand with each phase and with each new experience. It is a great gift to ourselves when we allow our inward child to remain with us until the end of our earthly journey. The joy that child can bring into our lives through its perceptive awareness, is profound.

Coming to the United States at the age of 14, and not being able to speak any English, was a great challenge for me. Growing up in an orphanage, and not ever having experienced the closeness and love of a mother and father, created a feeling of distance between the world and myself. I often felt I had to protect myself at all cost. After arriving in America, I lived with my father and his then wife. I suddenly found myself going to school and work experiencing both a reality on the outside world, and a entirely different reality in my internal world. As a result, I found myself very lonely and afraid much of the time. The dysfunctional behavior from those I lived with only added to the complexity. I felt so alone.

Once, a teenage boy I worked with asked to take me out to dinner. After he brought me back home, he turned to kiss me and I became paralyzed with fear. How would it ever be possible to allow someone to get physically close to me? I turned my head quickly and knew very well that my embarrassment was far more than what would be considered “normal” for a teenager experiencing her first date and her first kiss. At my very core, I realized that I feared “love” and found myself not knowing how to react. I trusted no one with my life, and I continued to shut myself off within but somehow managed to wear my “outward” mask well. During my teenage years and throughout my mid-twenties, I never allowed myself to date because the fear of facing the inevitable rejection that young hearts sometimes experience as they search for love, paralyzed me.

Today, after 19 years of marriage, I can look back at those innocent and fearful years and understand that I often shut life out because I was afraid to open my heart and truly feel the passion that life holds for all of us. Today, I look forward in anticipation to continue to open my heart to other hearts, to new experiences, to greater passions and joys, and to live life truly in its fullness and beauty. As I look back, there is the realization that even in my paralysis, I have gained some wisdom and understanding, for this has been my continual prayer. Today, I bow in thankfulness for God’s grace and love as He continues to heal all areas of this life. Through His wisdom, He has allowed circumstances to come into my life that have made me look at this fearful heart of mine, and to understand that in all things are nuggets of wisdom and insight to be found.

In my contemplation, I realize that my heart has traveled a long journey. At times, I have tired and I have wondered how to continue on. Nowadays, though, I realize that I desire for my heart to keep on traveling, to keep the courage, and to see beauty in all things. To love and be loved, and to understand that even the pain it may bring, compares not to the joy that I feel from allowing my heart to be free from so much unnecessary fear.

Travel on my heart, travel on
It is safe to travel on.
Life holds beauties yet unseen.
Travel on my heart, travel on.

Give freely and gently of your heart
and you will see that it is no longer just in part.
For life is one continuous exchange -
of beauty, love and grace.

Embrace it with wonderment - for it is safe
Love’s eternal presence will always aid.

Travel on my heart, travel on
It is safe to travel on.
Life holds beauties yet unseen.
Travel on my heart, travel on.

Viola Jaynes

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Once while I was attending a School of Ministry in my twenties, I had to write a paper on the subject of “Prayer.” It was a fascinating study and volumes could be written about those most versed in the subject, the different types of prayer, and the many beautiful prayers that have been written. At the end of my paper, I pointed out that the purest kind of prayer is when a person simply becomes prayer. Becoming prayer is a true expression of the heart of God.

In heartfelt devotional prayer, one breaks the earthbound chains that hold us to our fears, our angers and our doubts. It evokes a deep feeling of trust, and the love of God is felt intimately and profoundly. In prayer, our wounds are closed and healed, and forgiveness springs up from a deeper well of compassion and understanding. In prayer, tears often take the place of words, as some things simply cannot be expressed in our limited understanding and knowledge. I believe that prayer becomes the truest form of therapy available to mankind as we disconnect, even if just for a moment, from the identification of so many negative thoughts and feelings. Our tears bring healing to our hearts, and the very fabric of our brain chemistry changes as we become one with God through prayer.

There are some who pray to an angry external god, one who seems to enjoy inflicting pain and terror in the hearts of men. Those types of prayers are motivated by fear, hoping to escape this god’s anger for their own lives, yet participating in inflicting pain on others. I believe that the motivation for this type of prayer is self-serving and its sacrifice is wasted. Praying in this manner reveals great ignorance of the true potential that lies within all of us and of the understanding that God is a loving deity.

The God of love, who embraces through gentleness and understanding, has no need to be worshipped out of fear. He simply is! He has no need for revenge and punitive punishment to shame mankind into doing the right thing. His abiding seed is within each of us, and it is this understanding that shows us that the Kingdom of God is within - which will bring lasting changes into our relationships and into this world.

Prayer is the greatest gift that God has given to mankind. When one is engaged in prayer, a vision of peace and love is exalted far above all else. With radical honesty, this vision can change our own hearts and the very heart of this world. This type of prayer is motivated by love and love alone. It is important to understand that the influence that prayer has on others, as well as on the events around us, is not to be taken lightly. It is a powerful tool that can and will bring changes. It is available to all, without exception, and those who understand this realize what a responsibility and a privilege it is to pray.

God is the most profound reality and prayer is the purest and simplest way to experience that reality.

“Pray without ceasing for this is the will of God.” I Thes. 5:17