And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit…For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. ~Kahlil Gibran
There are some people who come into our lives in such a quiet and gentle way that we do not even give it all that much thought. They are simply there doing what they do best, which is tending to the things of life in very ordinary ways. Yet, it is these same people that, when we are no longer with them , we realize just how rich their presence was and how much kindness and gentleness they added to our life.
After Fraule passed away, Geli and Herman had contacted the orphanage to inquire as to whether I could come visit them every other weekend, and a week or two during vacation time. Fraule was frequently not well. Many times, there was simply nothing to do at her house. So, I spent quite a bit of time with this friendly couple who lived upstairs. Geli and Herman (Fraule’s nephew) were much younger and livelier than Fraule, so I always enjoyed being with them. Also, Fraule was often very depressed, which made our interaction more difficult. I was too young to understand her better, but hindsight and maturity have given me a better insight of who she was.
Geli and Herman never had any children of their own. They were young and very much in love with each other. Fraule owned the house they lived in, and as is typical in Germany, many houses are divided into apartments. This house was divided into three apartments. There were two downstairs apartments, and Fraule lived in one of them. Also, there was one upstairs where Herman and Geli lived. None of the apartments were very large, but they seemed to fit the needs of each occupant. Behind the house, there was a large yard with a clothing line, a wash room, and a vegetable garden where I often helped myself to fresh carrots. Herman built a garden house with lanterns around it. Hanging on the wall inside the garden house, one could see memorabilia collected from various trips that they had made to different parts of Germany and Switzerland. During the summer months, many hours were spent in that garden house visiting with family and friends while eating meals, drinking coffee, and enjoying cakes which Geli often would bake herself. There also was a large divided shed – one space was for Herman, and the other for Fraule. During the winter months, Fraule kept wood and coals in her shed. While I was there, she often would ask me to bring some into the house . I always was spooked by that shed, and even as I got older, I never liked going in there. Herman’s section was closer to the house and did not seem so dark and frightening. Herman liked to work in his shed much of the time when he was at home, and I would often just stand at the door and watch him. I liked Herman very much, and sometimes would begin to wonder what it would be like to have a father.
Geli (her real name being Angelika) was a lovely and very feminine young woman. She was always very meticulous about her appearance, as she carefully rolled and teased her hair and painted her nails with light pink nail polish. Before she would leave the house, she would always be sure to apply her pretty pink lipstick. Even though she had very light skin, her skin would turn a pretty tan color during the summer months, which made her blond hair and her pink lipstick stand out even more. I always thought she had a very striking and beautiful look. Geli loved doing crossword puzzles, going shopping, and keeping her home nice and neat. Geli was a seamstress and was faithful to her job for over forty years. When I was with her, she always inquired about how things were going in the orphanage. I never failed to tell her every minute detail of events that would take place. I cherished her inquisitiveness, and it made me feel that she was genuinely interested in me. We would also laugh a lot together. Her simple and uncomplicated ways made our relationship open and so enjoyable.
Geli was a wonderful cook, and she made the house smell delicious as she often had something in the oven set on very low to simmer. I always looked forward to eating at her house, and at times would even have second helpings of the wonderful food she had prepared. I always made a point to help out as much as I could by doing the dishes after meals and vacuuming the carpet. I never wanted to be a burden, nor did I want them to regret having me in their home. When we went shopping together, I would lock my arms in hers, as is common in many European countries, and it always gave me a sense of warmth and security. She would often buy me a little something, and when it was time to go back to the orphanage, she would always hand me a few D-Marks for spending money. Herman and Geli would never ask me what I would spend the money on, although they had a pretty good idea (most of the time it was spent on sweets for my friends and me).
Almost every weekend, Geli’s parents would be at her house. I had the privilege to know them over the years when I came to visit. Geli learned her generosity and kind spirit from her mother as she too was such a lovely and very feminine lady. She was quiet in her demeanor (a nurse as her profession), and she always had something kind to say. She too would often hand me a few D-Marks as I would leave to go back to the orphanage on Sunday afternoons. I was always very touched by her kindness and thoughtfulness.
It was a shock to Geli and Herman when they found out that my father had found me and wanted to bring me to America. They had misgivings, and rightfully so, since I had been in the orphanage for so many years. I was fourteen years old already, and they wondered why my father would so suddenly make the effort to find me after all those years. Our goodbyes where not easy, and I thanked them over and over again for all that they had done for me.
Because of the very difficult situation I found myself in when I came to this country, all ties to Germany were lost. My primary responsibility was to get used to a new life and a new country, and to learn English as quickly as possible by going to school and working in the evenings. No effort was made to get letters mailed out for me, and it seemed as if I had forever left my old life behind. Over time, I even lost much of my German language. I remember once driving down the street and hearing someone speak German on the radio. I thought how strange and yet so familiar it sounded to me, and I knew then that I would somehow reconnect to my childhood ties.
I have been in America now for 31 years. When I moved out on my own at age 19, I could not afford to call Germany or to go for visits. As time has gone by, I have been able to fly to Germany a number of times. As my German has improved again, I now call Germany regularly. One of the people I call is Geli. Our first reunion was beyond description as we saw each other again after so many years had passed. So much can change, yet so much stays the same. They were deeply moved by my visit, and of course, I was so happy to see them again. Geli had tears in her eyes, and I realized that I did not fully understand that I meant that much to her. I was deeply touched.
Herman passed away a number of years ago, and I was so thankful that I had the chance to see him again before he passed away. Geli presently has heart problems. Lately, she has had to be in the hospital again. I spoke with her mother, whom I also cherish, and explained that I would like to be informed should it become serious so that I can fly to Germany to be with my friend. I am deeply thankful for my experiences with these very gentle and lovely people. They truly are a gift to me…more than they will ever know!
P.S. My friend Simone, translated this for me into German and I was able to print this story out on some nice paper and mail it to Geli for Christmas. She seemed to be deeply moved by my remembrances and my appreciation for her and Herman. Thank you Simone, for being so gracious.
