Spiritual Things Matter

Love cannot exist without pain. ~The Anchoress

The Anchoress wrote a post that so deeply moved me and it spurred me on to write on this topic myself.

This time of the year, one cannot help but reflect again on the most profound love-gift that has ever been given to man-kind. It is a gift, so precious, so valuable and so indescribable, that all there is left to do is to grasp it firmly into our bosom and try to comprehend, on some level - with our finite minds, the mystery which it holds.

Never before has there been one who descended from heaven and gave himself for man-kind. Only Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, was able to do that because He was commissioned by God, by Himself, to pierce through darkness and enter this linear world of ours. A world, so limited in its understanding, so ignorant of truth, and so sinful of its own making.

He stood among us, this God, this Holy God, and through His son, Jesus Christ, He showed us His heart. With a passion so fierce, He did His work. All that He did was driven by only one prevailing power and that power is Love.

Jesus the Christ displayed compassion, kindness and mercy as no one ever could. There were no formulas to go by. There were no rules to remember. Love operates from the heart and it is reckless in its giving. Love was the only means in which to bring humanity into a life of meaning, of purpose, and of abundance.

God withheld nothing from us!

He knew before He descended from heaven, the pain that He would endure….and conquer. He knew what we, with our finite human mind , could never comprehend. Thus, He spoke in the only language that we could understand. Pain

Jesus cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” as He hung suspended between heaven and earth, because of the raw, primitive emotions of hate and envy that men everywhere are capable of at their worst. (Luke 23:34)

His love penetrated though the darkest of dark. All the universe became silent, if even just for a moment, to witness Love in its purest form. To understand once and for all that healing of our broken humanity comes only through the redeeming power of Love.

Love cannot exist without pain.

Those who embrace this understanding, will lay aside formulas and rules to go by. They will, through their own devotion and love for God, reach out to humanity recklessly and unconditionally…with a passionate desire to love. It is in this abandonment to love that transformations will take place right before their eyes. Salvation and healing will be the natural by-product as love pierces through the heart and heals. Love itself can and will heal and make whole the body, mind and spirit.

As we embrace each other with this understanding, let us pray that God will raise up a people in this hour, who know how to love. All of creation groans and travails for such a people to arise. (Rom.8) It is only as we abide in Him, that this will become a possibility. God IS Love and in this Love, Light is manifested. As this pure Light of love is manifested, Truth will stand on its own. Thus, all ignorance and darkness will be no more. (I John 1:5)

It is at this juncture that all tears will be wiped away and pain will no longer have a place in the hearts of men.

Let us never fear to step out to love and to be love. This must be done intelligently, compassionately, and genuinely. Pain exists everywhere without love…but love can never exist without pain…until that final moment of complete understanding, complete enlightenment. This holy sacrifice was given once and for all. The pain of ignorance was beyond human comprehension. It was agony at its worst. Mankind has, at last, been freed from a life of misery and futility. We have been freed into a life of certainty - a life of communion with our Creator.

Yes, indeed, we have been freed into a life without pain - if we can truly comprehend and accept this truth.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom; mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.
~Lao Tzu

I read a wonderful essay that Dr. Sanity wrote which gave me so much to think about. If you like, you can read it in its entirety. She speaks of the defense mechanism strategies that we humans use in order to protect ourselves and then she says the following:

“The most psychologically healthy of these strategies are those that allow us to transform primitive instinctual energy of even the most destructive emotions into works of art or entertainment that give pleasure to others (sublimation and humor); or behavior that is socially beneficial (altruism, anticipation, suppression). People who achieve optimal psychological health are those who have come to satisfactory terms with their neurobiology. They are people who have learned to accept their anger, rage and other potentially deadly emotions and, instead of destructively acting out, repressing, denying or projecting; have creatively expressed those feelings in a way that improves life both for themselves and for others.”

In my younger years, I used to be so embarrassed when feelings of anger and even rage would rise up from within. I would try to hide the anger and suppress it as long as possible and only on very few occasions did someone close enough to me even gain a glimpse into the frustration that I often felt. I remember once, when studying at a school of ministry and also employed at the same place, the pastor once asked me very calmly and lovingly, “Viola, who are you mad at?” My reply was, “I’m not mad at anyone.” In fact, I did not, at the time, really fully understand just how angry I really was. I did not even understand why he was asking me that question since I was going about doing my usual work.

Because I grew up without parents and without my siblings, I, not only had to learn to “parent” myself in many situations, but I also had become accustomed to simply handling whatever came along and burying much of the fear and insecurities that I was feeling. Too much of the time, I was an island unto myself and would not talk through things with anyone. After I gained my independence and began to established a life of my own, I found myself weeping quite a bit. I could not understand where so many tears could come from and I took note that it was from such a deep place in me.

It was only with added years that I have learned to understand myself better. When I would gain a glimpse into my own heart, I would simply cry out to God to heal me and to help me. I would turn my anger over to Him, each and every time it arose, and I would be honest enough to recognize it for what it was. I started to give myself much more room to allow emotions to come to the top and than examine them as honestly as I could with the understanding that I had at the time. That was not always easy as I also had to work through embarrassment and the tendency to simply hide. As Dr. Sanity so aptly described, however, I came to a place in my life where I could accept my anger and my rage and allow the transformative power that lay in my own heart to change me. Often, it seemed that the changes were so minute, but with time, with much time, I realized that I was on my way to becoming a whole person.

It is good to know that it is just fine to be angry and to be even full of rage. It is equally good to know and extremely freeing, that this energy can be turned to one’s own benefit. The benefit of healing and of creatively allowing it to tunnel though oneself, emerging into understanding, kindness and compassion for oneself as well as for others…instead of destruction and hate. With the help of God, this wholeness can and will be a reality by continually, day in and day out, having the desire to be honest with Him and with oneself.

Growth requires self-examination. Growth requires self-honesty. Growth requires the willingness to be humble and to take responsibility for our own life, our own happiness, and our own peace of mind. Most importantly, growth requires repentance, which simply is a change of mind, a change of attitude. In short, it is a position of humility that is consciously and willingly taken up for a higher purpose and a higher goal.

This is extremely powerful and transformative! For many, it will be the start of a much happier and more creative life.

Never fear to look into the eyes of your own anger. Beneath this anger you will find some measure of brokenness and fear. This brokenness and fear can be healed with love. This love has been freely provided for.  Not for some…but for all.  Embrace it through self-love that you may be healed and be made whole.

Today, on your birthday, I think of you.
The first smile and kind words that were ever spoken.
I think of the moment when somehow I knew
love and pain were greeting me at the very same moment.
I ponder what mystery awoke my heart -
and I ponder what mystery knew its breaking.

Today, I reflect on the wound that was left
and the time it would take to heal its bleeding.
I wonder about the tears that still fall
with an aching desire to understand their meaning.
My heart feels heavy and full with expressions
that came up from a well too deep to explain.
I am left to pray to God through my tears -
each drop, a prayer of words unspoken.

A time will come, sometime, somewhere,
when pain and tears will become a quiet knowing.
A peaceful understanding will take its place
and my heart will smile as we embrace each other fully.
Peace to you and peace to me
in God’s wisdom lie all mysteries’ unfolding.
His ways are higher and always will be
though tears continue to fall -
yet, somehow, there is a knowing.

~Viola M. Jaynes
Feb. 2008

I cast myself upon Your heart,
A heart of Love Divine.
I cast myself upon Your heart,
A heart that now is mine.

I tuck myself away in prayer
Into a different realm.
In stillness and in quietness,
I find peace upon this sacred ground.

I hunger and I thirst, Oh God,
For Your reality alone.
Kindness and peace are found in You
Oh, how Your love comforts my soul.

I cast myself upon Your heart,
A heart of glorious Light Divine.
I cast myself upon Your heart,
A heart that now enlightens mine.

Viola M. Jaynes
Jan. 2008