An Easter Package
…the flower withers, but the seed remains. ~Kahlil Gibran
Each year, at Easter, my mind wanders back to my orphanage years. Easter was celebrated by going to church, and then later hunting for eggs that we all painted together.
One year, when I was about eight years old, I received a package in the mail. It was a huge surprise since I had never received a package before. I was excited and very curious as to who would send me a gift and I wondered just what might be in it. I noticed that the package was from my brother, Jean.
Approximately six months prior to Easter that year, my brother had been adopted out of the orphanage by an older couple who had lost a baby during WW II. It had been their only child; the mother had been unable to nourish her baby with her breast milk because they had been fleeing the Nazis and had been malnourished. The baby died in her arms. Years later, this same couple wanted to adopt a son. My brother was one year younger than I and we were very close. I was always very protective of him. Even though he had his own set of friends in the orphanage, we were fortunate to be in the same group since many siblings were split up.
I remember the day when that couple came to pick up my brother. We were at “Fraule’s” house. There had been no forewarning to my brother or myself that a couple was interested in adopting him. The couple liked me as well and expressed an interest in me, but they could not take me because my mother had never signed any papers of release for me. She had only signed papers for my two brothers and my youngest brother had already been adopted a number of years before. I don’t know why my mother did not release me.
It was a strange day, one moment my brother and I were together and the next moment he was gone from my life. I felt empty and alone. I felt sad and forgotten.
Nevertheless, that Easter a package came in the mail from my brother. As I opened the package, I reached in with curiosity and excitement that only a child could feel. I pulled out a little pink rabbit. What happened after that was beyond my own understanding. I clutched that little pink rabbit and started to cry as I had never cried before. I fell down to my knees and wailed with sadness because for the very first time, I could physically feel my heart break. I then realized he was not coming back and I would not see him again. I felt lonely and abandoned and in that moment all of my emotions which I could not put into words, came to the surface.
That little pink rabbit was somehow lost in the orphanage. The loss of my brother, Jean, however, has always stayed with me. The pain of that moment was so profound and deep that all I have been able to do is to deal with it at the various stages of my life. Today, in my mid 40’s, I write about it. Over 30 years would pass before I would see my brother again; in 1996, Jean, called me because he was getting married and he wanted me, his sister, to be a part of this special moment in his life. I was ecstatic and could hardly wait to see him again after so many years.
I am happy for people who have siblings with whom to share their joys and sorrows. My own two children have each other and I try to teach them never to take one another for granted. I always tell them that none of us knows what tomorrow may hold because one moment something is ours and the next moment it can be gone forever. I also try to teach them the value of spiritual truth which will abide forever. Hans Christian Andersen says, “The human life is a story told by God.” No matter what the story may be, may it always bring honor to the One who has created us. God’s love can heal all broken hearts. I truly believe that!
At the heart of our loss is gain – unseen, and yet eternal.
At the heart of our gain is loss through too much knowing.
At the heart of our joys are mysteries that remain untold.
At the heart of our tears is wisdom – embracing the cycles of life,
thus, finding stillness and peace within.
~Viola M. Jaynes
[...] What happens when your brother is taken from your orphanage and you are left all alone? Viola writes about it affectingly. [...]
Pingback by The Anchoress » Some links — April 5, 2007 @ 9:44 pm
Beautiful writing.It makes us feel your pain as a child to be estranged from your kin.
Regds
esfj
Comment by esfj — April 5, 2007 @ 10:12 pm
Thank you Anchoress!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 5, 2007 @ 10:48 pm
esfj
thanks for commenting and come back again!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 5, 2007 @ 10:49 pm
Viola, I feel for your lose although I have never gone through a loss such as this. Like you I try and teach my children (4) that they have each other and the bond that they have with each other is very special.
I have an older sister, by 4 years, and I do not know what I would do without her presence in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t speak with her. I call her at least a dozen times a day. The loss of her would break my heart but knowing that the Lord allowed her to be my sibiling be in my life and for me to experience that precious bond is something that I will and would treasure for the rest of my life.
Thank you for inviting me to visit and I hope your Easter is filled with lots of laughter and love.
God Bless you and your family
Comment by Shelia — April 6, 2007 @ 1:41 am
Hello Sheila,
Yes, I can tell that you teach your children that and I think that is wonderful. One day they will not have you and Mike but they will have each other.
I am so happy for you that you have your sister and it sounds like she is also your very best friend. You are indeed very blessed.
Have a wonderful and blessed Easter with Mike and the kids!
Love,
Viola
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 6, 2007 @ 2:34 am
Hello Again Vi,
An Easter Package touched me so. Being brought up in a God fearing home myself I can only imagine the hardships you faced.My Mother’s Dad died when she was less than 1 year old. She has shared some of the pain she felt as a child with me. So when I read a story like this it is all I can do to fight back the tears.
You have been greatly Blessed with the Gift of Love and Wisdom.So as to be able to share your inner most emotions in a way that will bear Fruit,that will reach out and touch others in a special way.This comes only from the Lord.
I pray you and your family have a wonderful Easter. May God continue to Bless you.
Say a prayer for me.
Best Regards,
Bennie Lowry
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Comment by Bennie Lowry — April 6, 2007 @ 9:44 am
Your story is really touching! I enjoyed it so much. Thanks for sharing it
with me. I can tell that you have taught Andrew well. He seems to really
value good work and friendship. Have a wonderful weekend!
sincerely,
Laura Steffy
Comment by Laura Steffi — April 6, 2007 @ 5:12 pm
Viola
thank you for sharing this. I am heartbroken. I can’t imagine the loss that you felt at such a young age.
I know that the Lord heals the broken hearted.
He gives us beauty for ashes
Strength for tears
Gladness for mourning
strength for despair
I can’t imagine how one could get over something like this. Has God been gracious? To me, this is unbearable pain, unthinkable hurt. Has God been faithful?
love
laura
Comment by Laura Monica — April 6, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
Thank you Laura Steffi for your lovely comment and for visiting my site. I feel honored. And as always, thank for always giving your best.
Many blessings to you,
Viola
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 6, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
Laura Monica,
Thank you for your kind words and your support. Yes indeed, God has been gracious and faithful. With all the things I’ve had to work through, a desire for truth and to love has been worked in me. I am deeply thankful for that.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 6, 2007 @ 5:25 pm
Viola,
That was a beautiful and very touching story. I haven’t gotten to read all your writings yet but the ones I’ve read are very well written. This Easter story did bring tears to my eyes. I know I have no idea what your childhood was like but
I am thankful for the beautiful woman that God has created in you. May you and your family have a Blessed Easter. Come see me sometime soon!
Love you,
Teah
Comment by Teah Osborn — April 6, 2007 @ 6:08 pm
really great story Viola, you are a fine woman as well! Amazing we can come from somewhere like that and end up being ok, if we choose to and through the grace of God. Behold, you have been made new!
love to you,
Sanna
Comment by Sana Linton — April 6, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Nice Job Viola. I am sorry you had to endure this experience when you were young. Life does not seem fair at times. That is for sure. I am happy I have a brother. God bless you and your family.
Happy Easter to you all!
Craig
Comment by secondchancetolive — April 7, 2007 @ 1:15 am
Thank you Craig for your kind words and thanks for visiting my site. Wishing you a wonderful Easter as well. Bless you and your family!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 7, 2007 @ 3:47 am
Viola, that is so heartbreaking.
Do you still have the rabbit, or was that one of the casualties of your transition to the USA?
Thanks for calling today – its a whirlwind here, so it was great to have a chat albeit brief!
Take care my dear,
love
Rebecca
Comment by Rebecca Strivens — April 7, 2007 @ 10:04 pm
No, I don’t have the rabbit. With so many kids in the orphanage, it just got mixed in with all the other toys and eventually was lost.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — April 7, 2007 @ 10:07 pm
What a lovely story of hope in the midst of despair. How wonderful that you found your brother later in life. On the day you submitted your story, April 5th, I also remembered my brother. That day was the 10 year anniversary of his death in a car accident. I feel the same as you, we should not take our family for granted. I try to share this sentiment with my own two children, who love each other very much. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story, it warmed my heart.
Kala
Comment by Kala — April 9, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
Hello Vi,
An Easter Package, What a heart warming story.
I enjoyed reading it very much.
Stretch
Comment by Stretch — April 9, 2007 @ 10:08 pm
Wonderful and touching. It’s not easy to tap into those inner feelings and present them for public review and approval (or not). Writing is in a way simply a therapy for wounds unhealed, we all carry them, it’s nice to pass those thoughts on for all to absorb and reflect. Thank you! rct
Comment by rct — August 14, 2007 @ 8:48 pm
[...] and Jean and I were then transferred to a second orphanage for older children. My story, “An Easter Package,” on this blog tells the story of how Jean was adopted out as well. I stayed in the orphanage [...]
Pingback by Spiritual Things Matter » My Mother — September 21, 2007 @ 5:33 am
[...] May of that same year. Jean was calling to invite me to be a part of his wedding. I have written here about the day he was adopted and how I came to realize that I would not see him as a child again. [...]
Pingback by Spiritual Things Matter » A Wedding Invitation — January 25, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
After I read this, I felt as though I had seen and felt that pink bunny, that tender connection. This is a beautiful, strong piece, Viola.
Comment by SandyCarlson — March 19, 2008 @ 3:03 am
Thank you for this post.. I felt encouraged and blessed with your story. It only shows that God is faithful. The enemy meant your childhood for evil, but I believe that God meant it for good. Just now, you have touched many people becuase of this story. God Bless!
Comment by Bogie — March 19, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
The bond between siblings can be very strong … at least they are in between my sisters and me, and obviously they were for you too. How bittersweet your story.
Comment by KAL — March 19, 2008 @ 6:06 pm
Sandy, thank your for your continuous support!
Bogie, welcome to my site. It is always a pleasure having a new visitor. Come back anytime!
Kal, thanks so much for commenting. I am hoping that next year I’ll be seeing my brother again. It has been a long time again and he has never met my two children. He is divorced now and he might even make an effort to fly to the States to see us.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — March 19, 2008 @ 7:46 pm
Viola,
Your stories treat human beings with such dignity and grace that they leave me wondering more about them–not seeking answers or conclusions but wondering about them as human beings, their motivations, their grief, their joy, their hunger. This is the work of the artist, I believe. You link us with humanity and encourage a generosity of spirit that is transformative. You are an artist.
Comment by SandyCarlson — March 22, 2008 @ 2:17 pm
Sandy, I am deeply touched by your generosity of words. How can I go wrong when I have people like you encouraging me and supporting me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — March 22, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
[...] Jaynes shares An Easter Package published at Spiritual Things [...]
Pingback by The Seventh Day: Easter / Spring Edition | On the Horizon — March 24, 2008 @ 6:10 am
[...] have written here about the day he was adopted out of our orphanage and how I came to realize that I would not see [...]
Pingback by Spiritual Things Matter » A Wedding Invitation — January 16, 2009 @ 3:23 pm
[...] brother, Jean, drove to Munich to spend three days with us. You may recall the story about my brother, and how it came about that we were separated. It took over 25 years for us to [...]
Pingback by Spiritual Things Matter » A Wonderful Visit Home — April 9, 2009 @ 5:36 pm