Spiritual Things Matter

There is no way to happiness - happiness is the way. ~The Buddha

Yesterday, I had one of those perfect days where all seemed right and well with the world. One of those days, where despite of all the troubling happenings one hears and reads on the news programs, blogs, and television, the world seemed somehow right in my own heart and mind.

It all began in the morning when my children kept calling me, instructing me by saying, “Mama, please don’t come into the kitchen yet!” I smiled because I had a hunch that they were planning to surprise me with something really special. Finally, with excitement and glowing faces, they came and brought me into the kitchen. My children had fixed a wonderful breakfast just for me. The table was covered with a pretty tablecloth and my son lit candles to set the mood for this special moment. On the table I found French Toast and eggs, which I had recently shown my children how to fix. They cut the toast into tiny pieces and sprinkled it with powdered sugar. My daughter had placed pieces of bananas into a cereal bowl and mixed the fruit with my favorite yogurt. She proudly told me, “Mama, I know how much you love yogurt with fruit”, I hugged her and smiled - all the while pretending that I did not see the splattered egg mix everywhere and the eggs shells lying around on the greasy counter-top. I also closed my eyes to the many dirty utensils and dishes that were used in this process of making breakfast for me.

As I marveled at their love and thoughtfulness, I sat down to eat. They huddled over me like little bumblebees asking me after every bite I took, if my breakfast was really good. Since it was not my birthday nor was it even Mother’s Day, I asked them what the special occasion was. Their reply simply was, “Mama, we wanted to surprise you because we love you.” Hesitatingly, they acknowledged that the kitchen was really a mess and it would take them a long time to clean it up. I told them since they had done such a terrific job making breakfast, I would clean the kitchen. It was such a delightful moment and one that I will remember for a long time.

In the afternoon, we attended a performance in which my daughter participated. She had been attending a music camp for the last couple of years which lasts for one week each summer. At the end of the week, they do a performance for all the parents. My daughter loves music and singing, feeling completely comfortable in that environment. She was especially excited since her grandparents and great-grandmother were also able to attend and enjoy the show. I marveled at how the children could memorize these songs and movements to the songs in just one week. After the show, I saw dear friends whom I cherish and my children saw a few teachers from school, as well as some of their friends.

Later in the evening, we were invited, along with a second couple, to another friends’ home, for a fish dinner. We all enjoyed a wonderful time together, filled with laughter, great conversations, great food, and a genuine concern and love for each other. It really was a perfect ending for a perfect day!

Jimmy, one of my dear readers sent me this beautiful poem today. I would like to share it with you since it is filled with so much meaning. Thank you, Jimmy!

House by the Side of the Road

THERE are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths
Where highways never ran -
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by -
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner’s seat
Nor hurl the cynic’s ban -
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife,
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,
Both parts of an infinite plan -
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,
And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice
And weep with the strangers that moan.
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by-
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish - so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat,
Or hurl the cynic’s ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

~Samual Walter Foss

The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; for happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up. ~Charles Langbridge Morgan

From early on, we have certain ideals about the way we think our life should be. During our “terrible twos,” temper tantrums were expressed when things did not go our way. When we became teenagers, we experienced great growing pangs as we entered into early adulthood. Then, as adults, we find ourselves at times in precarious situations because we often are determined to hold tightly to our ideals which can turn into great stumbling blocks.

I have to re-learn this lesson again and again as I have chosen my own ideals. I try to teach my children to have dreams and goals that they would like to work towards. I try to teach them to look at the bright side of life, to see the glass half full instead of half empty. Yet, I am also keenly aware that my own ideals have at times been a stumbling block for me.

In my life, I have noticed that when my ideals serve me well, my life seems to be in harmony. It seems to carry with it an energy and creativity that molds and shapes these ideals into a realistic and workable goal. Mutual giving and receiving seems to take place in relationships that one comes in contact with. It is accompanied with a feeling of well being, acceptance and joy, as well as a sense of gratitude.

During those times when my ideals, no matter how noble they are, work against me, it often follows with a great amount of confusion and disappointment. When these ideals are not met, no matter how hard one reaches for them, they can cause self-doubt and fear. These ideals become heavy stones around my neck when I stubbornly keep carrying this unnecessary weight, which has long become a heavy burden. Not surprisingly, it creates a stooped emotional posture, and looking up to see the world as it really is becomes a difficult task.

I have noticed this tendency in parenting my children. My ideals for the way my children should turn out may not match with the design they were created to be. If I hold to my rigid ideals and unrealistic goals, it may very well become a source of pain to them, thus having the complete opposite affect of what my original and good intentions were.

We humans tend to cling to all kinds of things. We cling to jobs, money, and material gain. We tend to cling to other people, and their approval and recognition. We tend to hold on to our pains and perceived lacks. I have seen far too many good people turn to some sort of addiction in order to cope with the loss and disappointments of ideals that did not serve them well. Their inward battle creates this painful cycle of addiction, and it often steals so many years from their lives. It steals their dignity, and it keeps them from growing inwardly, and out of that pain. It does not have to be that way.

I say this often in my writings because I am deeply convinced of its truth. It takes continual self-examination and self-honesty to recognize even the most subtle clinging to old patterns. I am convinced that so many of our problems can be healed, as well as solved, if we would only take the time to look inward and be completely honest with ourselves. There is no need for harshness and judgment, for that is also futile. Only a willingness, accompanied with great understanding and gentleness, is necessary to turn our concerns, no matter how small they are, over to the great Deity that created us. This can bring about a blossoming and healing in our lives as we experience the maturation process and spiritual growth that will finally enable us to open our hands and let go.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. ~Lao Tzu

Oh death, suddenly you come - but we fear you not.
You teach us awareness, each and every time.
You teach us humility and gratefulness.
Your presence brings new resolve into our lives -
to be kinder to all who have been entrusted to us.
To love even more deeply those who need us -
as well as those who want from us.

Oh death, you embrace us with a very cold chill -
leaving us to find warmth and comfort again.
You whisper realities into our ears that are not of this world -
that we might seek and seek,
and then finally find a deeper
and more secure place within ourselves.
Indeed, you are a part of the cycle of birth and dying -
of beginning and ending.
Yet, never the end to Light and Love -
for always it will continue on.

Let comfort come to those who are left behind.
Let light and hope illuminate the heart.
Let time bring its gentle healing kiss -
that tears may transform grief into laughter and joy again.
Let the beauty of life blossom
in each one who has loved him - whom you have taken.
Let them always remember him
and the joy and the love he so generously gave.

~Viola M. Jaynes

~Dedicated to the Memory of Barney Bolt~