Spiritual Things Matter

One day I said, “I will go out and look for my enemies” and that day I found no friends. The next day I said, “I will go and look for my friends” and that day I found no enemies. ~Native American Proverb

Anyone who has lived will attest to the fact that relationships can be difficult. When we are involved with good and wholesome relationships, we notice that we tend to thrive and experience energy and joy. The give and take aspect of such relationships feed us and strengthen us as they validate who and what we are. We feel a sense of belonging and connectedness when we are in relationships with people that care for us and have the best intentions for our lives. When that is not the case, it can be a very painful experience.

I tend to be a dreamer, and therefore, I desire that all people live peacefully with each other. I am also a realist, and I realize that such lofty ideals are rarely possible at this time. Sifting through relationships, and distancing yourself from them if they tend to bring pain, is often the solution that is sought. That process can often take years.

Deciding what relationships are worth working on is a deeply personal choice. There are so many variations and reasons why one would like to see a relationship healed, even though an enormous amount of pain has already been experienced. Only the person involved must decide if the effort is worth the price it will take.

The Judds sang a song that I really like and appreciate. Click here to listen to this song that so clearly speaks of the longing for healing and the importance of building a bridge.

A bridge is more efficiently built from “both” sides. But, if there is only one that has the means and the desire to see such a project completed, does that mean it is impossible to build? I do not think so. Of course, the process will take much longer. The one doing the building will tire of the heavy load and responsibility. They will be tempted to give up, thinking it is a hopeless cause. It will be a monumental and arduous job requiring some periods of rest. But, it can be done! Periodically, a plea will go out to the other side for help, but there is none to be found. The builder will do what it takes to complete the task alone and without any fear.

Single-mindedness and a commitment to its excellence will re-energize this vision. Offering it up for a greater purpose as well as praying for assistance will bring about a supernatural energy that tends to make all things possible. The question then will rise up once more: Why build this bridge? Why exert such an effort? What is the purpose of it all?

A Bridge Without Any Fear

I give myself because I value you
The reason for my effort is to offer up peace.
Pain has come between us - and now you are afraid
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.

The greatest gift I can give is myself.
Authentic and real I simply want to be.
Bringing only a gift of love that is real.
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.

Words of forgiveness mean little to me
Unless it becomes a part of who we are.
Lofty words without action are futile and empty
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.

Once I have completed to the other side
I will silently pray for your heart to hear.
I have worked so hard, I have done it for you
I have built this bridge without any fear.

~Viola Jaynes

The absolute value of love makes life worth while, and so makes man’s strange and difficult situations acceptable. Love cannot save life from death; but it can fulfill life’s purpose. ~Arnold J. Toynbee

Love is complex and comes with a wonderful array of emotions and expressions. In considering this, I wonder what life would be like without being touched by its mystery, its pain, its joys and its tears? The touch of love will change a human being in such profound ways that are often difficult to understand.

My mind goes back to Germany and the time I was packing to leave the orphanage to move to the United States. My father, an American, had found me after 14 years, and I was to make a new life here in this country. As I was packing my clothes, my thoughts raced: Would I learn English quickly enough? Could I make new friends? Was America as great as I had always heard it was? I had fears, yet the youth in me was filled with hope and an adventurous spirit, willing to step out into the unknown.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of children calling my name, telling me that I had a visitor. I thought it strange since I never had visitors. As I walked downstairs, I saw a teacher standing there that I had from third to sixth grade. One of my favorite things she used to do in class was put her hand around the back of my neck when I was being mischievous. She did it with such tenderness and so revealed her heart to me. Perhaps, being mischievous came easier because of that.

I was still surprised as she greeted me with a warm and familiar smile. This was a teacher whom I had dearly loved, but I kept this love as a secret in my heart. I felt embarrassed about it since she was obviously just my teacher. However, deep in my heart, I had somehow discerned her feelings towards me. Would I dare to think it was love? She had heard from the kids in school that I was leaving for America and so she came to say goodbye.

In her hand she held a small gift with a letter. As she handed it to me, she embraced me and wished me well. I was speechless and my face had turned red. Our last goodbye was quick and then I went back upstairs to read my letter. The letter revealed to me what I had known in my heart for four years. All I could do was weep. I opened my gift carefully and thoughtfully and was moved as I saw it. It was a tiny, gold, four-leaf clover pendant. I cherished it for years before it was lost by someone I entrusted it to. I would read that letter time and again during my early years in this country. I would weep over it with a broken heart, as I longed to be freed from so much pain. After time, I could no longer unfold it since my very tears had crumbled it under my hands.

This love came with a bittersweet price. Our love for each other has been tried on only a few occasions…but, to its very depth. As we both have grown in this mystical relationship, we cherish each other to this day. The first time I saw my friend again after so many years had past was in 1997 when I was pregnant with my first child. It was a wonderful reunion and we cherished each other’s presence. Since that time, I have been able to call her once a week unless she or we are on vacation. We are able to talk about many things and the practice of speaking my mother language has greatly improved my German.

I have been awakened by love a number of times in my life. Each time, it came with an enormous amount of intensity and expression of my own soul. When love comes, it will bring with it an imagination and creativity which causes us to be able to do that which we never have thought was possible. It allows our eyes to see beauty, I believe, in its purest form. It is that brushing of the shoulders with love that brings about such beauty in the arts. Its expressions are the windows to the soul’s yearning to become one with yet a greater power and a greater purpose. Its spiritual implications are astounding.

Love asks many things of us. Its demands are not easy, and love often brings with it much pain. Still, it broadens us in every area of our lives. Its well is deep. When we work through the pain and mysteries of our own loves, truth of the heart and soul are revealed. We somehow understand that life is not just a life on this earth, but truly a spiritual experience. We come to know, even if just in part, what the mysteries and the possibilities are that lay in love. It will take us to the heights and depths of our very soul, as nothing in this life time will. Oh, how wonderful it is to be able to love!

Though its pangs are strong and fierce, let us never fear to love again and again, until we melt into its very essence.  ~Viola Jaynes

_{Photograph by: K. Alan Lewis}

In youth we stand strong in our convictions
With passions and beliefs we hold so dear.
We stand solid firm in a warrior-like fashion
Declaring with strength the path that seems clear.

One day, though, we awaken
Only to notice a change has taken place.
We have grown a little older and we realize
That life and all its passions, are not so clear.

~Viola Jaynes

I Miss My Friend

I miss my friend when I see the silvery moon above.
I miss my friend when I hear the rain drops splatter.
I miss my friend when I see others embracing and laughing.
I miss my friend when I sit and simply ponder.

I miss my friend when my heart aches and is lonely.
I miss my friend when I think of summer’s July gone array.
I miss my friend when I long to heal our partings.
I miss my friend for the distance seems so far away.

~Viola Jaynes