The Absolute Value Of Love
The absolute value of love makes life worth while, and so makes man’s strange and difficult situations acceptable. Love cannot save life from death; but it can fulfill life’s purpose. ~Arnold J. Toynbee
Love is complex and comes with a wonderful array of emotions and expressions. In considering this, I wonder what life would be like without being touched by its mystery, its pain, its joys and its tears? The touch of love will change a human being in such profound ways that are often difficult to understand.
My mind goes back to Germany and the time I was packing to leave the orphanage to move to the United States. My father, an American, had found me after 14 years, and I was to make a new life here in this country. As I was packing my clothes, my thoughts raced: Would I learn English quickly enough? Could I make new friends? Was America as great as I had always heard it was? I had fears, yet the youth in me was filled with hope and an adventurous spirit, willing to step out into the unknown.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of children calling my name, telling me that I had a visitor. I thought it strange since I never had visitors. As I walked downstairs, I saw a teacher standing there that I had from third to sixth grade. One of my favorite things she used to do in class was put her hand around the back of my neck when I was being mischievous. She did it with such tenderness and so revealed her heart to me. Perhaps, being mischievous came easier because of that.
I was still surprised as she greeted me with a warm and familiar smile. This was a teacher whom I had dearly loved, but I kept this love as a secret in my heart. I felt embarrassed about it since she was obviously just my teacher. However, deep in my heart, I had somehow discerned her feelings towards me. Would I dare to think it was love? She had heard from the kids in school that I was leaving for America and so she came to say goodbye.
In her hand she held a small gift with a letter. As she handed it to me, she embraced me and wished me well. I was speechless and my face had turned red. Our last goodbye was quick and then I went back upstairs to read my letter. The letter revealed to me what I had known in my heart for four years. All I could do was weep. I opened my gift carefully and thoughtfully and was moved as I saw it. It was a tiny, gold, four-leaf clover pendant. I cherished it for years before it was lost by someone I entrusted it to. I would read that letter time and again during my early years in this country. I would weep over it with a broken heart, as I longed to be freed from so much pain. After time, I could no longer unfold it since my very tears had crumbled it under my hands.
This love came with a bittersweet price. Our love for each other has been tried on only a few occasions…but, to its very depth. As we both have grown in this mystical relationship, we cherish each other to this day. The first time I saw my friend again after so many years had past was in 1997 when I was pregnant with my first child. It was a wonderful reunion and we cherished each other’s presence. Since that time, I have been able to call her once a week unless she or we are on vacation. We are able to talk about many things and the practice of speaking my mother language has greatly improved my German.
I have been awakened by love a number of times in my life. Each time, it came with an enormous amount of intensity and expression of my own soul. When love comes, it will bring with it an imagination and creativity which causes us to be able to do that which we never have thought was possible. It allows our eyes to see beauty, I believe, in its purest form. It is that brushing of the shoulders with love that brings about such beauty in the arts. Its expressions are the windows to the soul’s yearning to become one with yet a greater power and a greater purpose. Its spiritual implications are astounding.
Love asks many things of us. Its demands are not easy, and love often brings with it much pain. Still, it broadens us in every area of our lives. Its well is deep. When we work through the pain and mysteries of our own loves, truth of the heart and soul are revealed. We somehow understand that life is not just a life on this earth, but truly a spiritual experience. We come to know, even if just in part, what the mysteries and the possibilities are that lay in love. It will take us to the heights and depths of our very soul, as nothing in this life time will. Oh, how wonderful it is to be able to love!
Though its pangs are strong and fierce, let us never fear to love again and again, until we melt into its very essence. ~Viola Jaynes
A very touching post, Viola.
Your love for your teacher reminds me of a teacher I knew. I was a 5th grader and she was my home room teacher. She was very pretty and had such kind, but effective ways of dealing with her students. All the students in our class adored her and studied harder because she made us feel like knowledge was the key to life. I was elated when she became our 6th grade home room teacher as well. I had a school-boy crush on her by then and looked forward to going to school each day because she would be there. I never mentioned my crush to a soul, I would have been mortified if my secret was ever revealed.
She moved away from our small town, but returned on a visit some years later. I was a college student by then. She and her husband came to a party that my mother was holding at our house. When she saw me she seemed delighted that I was now a young man attending college. She smiled a in a knowing way as she told me she knew I had it in me to make something of myself. I was thrilled to hear her compliment, but was too shy and tonque-tied to tell her how her teaching and love of knowledge had given me the impetus and confidence to be a good student. How often in my life have I not said what I should/could have? Too often, I’m afraid. That you and your teacher are still in touch is very beautiful.
A few years later I was deeply saddened when I learned she had died of cancer. That was long, long ago, but I know her love of teaching and children attracted me to her and her love of knowledge. How different my life might have been had she not been my teacher.
Comment by Jimmy J. — July 25, 2008 @ 4:28 am
Jimmy, I am so glad you shared that story with me. It is amazing how much a human being can grow by simply feeling acknowledged and respected. It is amazing that this feeling stayed with you all your life. To really care, makes such a difference and I am glad you had her in your life as well. Anneliese, my childhood teacher is getting old now. Our relationship has lasted these many years and it will be a true loss for me when she finally passes on. We have been a gift to each other.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — July 25, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
I’m glad you put this here, Viola!
Comment by SandyCarlson — July 26, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
Thank you Sandy!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — July 26, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
Beautiful writing Viola!
You capture the pure joy of life so well and with such insight.
I think that love in all its manifestations enshrines the essential reason for existence….but you said that anyway and much better than I could!
Definitely a 5 star rating.
Comment by quantum — August 4, 2008 @ 10:08 am
Love seems to get so complicated but I think that you have brought love back to it’s purest essence. Thank you for sharing this special story of love and an unexpected friendship intended to last. I really enjoyed reading this and I “love” the way you expressed yourself.
Comment by Nicki42day — August 23, 2008 @ 1:48 am
Nice one. This is what i was looking for to pull myself together. Thanks a million for sharing it.
Comment by som — August 23, 2008 @ 1:50 am