A Bridge Without Any Fear
One day I said, “I will go out and look for my enemies” and that day I found no friends. The next day I said, “I will go and look for my friends” and that day I found no enemies. ~Native American Proverb
Anyone who has lived will attest to the fact that relationships can be difficult. When we are involved with good and wholesome relationships, we notice that we tend to thrive and experience energy and joy. The give and take aspect of such relationships feed us and strengthen us as they validate who and what we are. We feel a sense of belonging and connectedness when we are in relationships with people that care for us and have the best intentions for our lives. When that is not the case, it can be a very painful experience.
I tend to be a dreamer, and therefore, I desire that all people live peacefully with each other. I am also a realist, and I realize that such lofty ideals are rarely possible at this time. Sifting through relationships, and distancing yourself from them if they tend to bring pain, is often the solution that is sought. That process can often take years.
Deciding what relationships are worth working on is a deeply personal choice. There are so many variations and reasons why one would like to see a relationship healed, even though an enormous amount of pain has already been experienced. Only the person involved must decide if the effort is worth the price it will take.
The Judds sang a song that I really like and appreciate. Click here to listen to this song that so clearly speaks of the longing for healing and the importance of building a bridge.
A bridge is more efficiently built from “both” sides. But, if there is only one that has the means and the desire to see such a project completed, does that mean it is impossible to build? I do not think so. Of course, the process will take much longer. The one doing the building will tire of the heavy load and responsibility. They will be tempted to give up, thinking it is a hopeless cause. It will be a monumental and arduous job requiring some periods of rest. But, it can be done! Periodically, a plea will go out to the other side for help, but there is none to be found. The builder will do what it takes to complete the task alone and without any fear.
Single-mindedness and a commitment to its excellence will re-energize this vision. Offering it up for a greater purpose as well as praying for assistance will bring about a supernatural energy that tends to make all things possible. The question then will rise up once more: Why build this bridge? Why exert such an effort? What is the purpose of it all?
A Bridge Without Any Fear
I give myself because I value you
The reason for my effort is to offer up peace.
Pain has come between us - and now you are afraid
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.
The greatest gift I can give is myself.
Authentic and real I simply want to be.
Bringing only a gift of love that is real.
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.
Words of forgiveness mean little to me
Unless it becomes a part of who we are.
Lofty words without action are futile and empty
Thus, I build a bridge without any fear.
Once I have completed to the other side
I will silently pray for your heart to hear.
I have worked so hard, I have done it for you
I have built this bridge without any fear.
~Viola Jaynes
Excellent post, Viola. Sometimes I think our disposable consumer society overflows into our relationships so that we write each other off as damaged goods rather than repair the damage. But the work can be rewarding and can deepen a relationship. It’s a matter of believing the effort is worthwhile.
Comment by SandyCarlson — July 29, 2008 @ 6:34 pm
Sandy, I could not have said it better. Thank you very much!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — July 29, 2008 @ 7:30 pm
Viola, you never fail to amaze me that you can get your feelings down on paper (computer screen) the way you do. Thanks for your insight.
Comment by Jimmy J. — August 1, 2008 @ 4:51 am
Thank you, Jimmy. It is always such a pleasure having you visit me here.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — August 1, 2008 @ 12:23 pm
I agree with Jimmy. Viola, you have an amazing ability to put your thoughts in such simple and clear pictures. This is very moving. By the way, I also love this song by the Judds. Thanks for putting it here on your site.
Comment by Liz — August 2, 2008 @ 9:43 am
Viola once again your poetry is amazing. Your words spoke to me. I hope whomever this was written for crosses that bridge.
Comment by Rose — August 3, 2008 @ 10:32 pm
Thank you so much, Rose. Yes, I hope so too.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — August 3, 2008 @ 11:44 pm
Hi Viola,
You did it again. You writing is reflective as to what is going on in my life. A friend that I thought I had lost is now back in my life. I never gave up and at times I was building that bridge alone. But, now we are mending the friendship and things are looking good.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Comment by RayG — August 7, 2008 @ 12:52 am
Ray, I am so happy for you. It pays to have faith and I am glad you kept believing in that friendship. May your friendship become stronger and more real than it was before.
I also am waiting for a friendship to heal and it looks that I have to build this bridge alone to the very end. Pray that I will keep the faith and my strength.
Thanks for visiting my site! Best to you always!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — August 7, 2008 @ 2:22 am
hi people
I whole heartedly love the layout of http://www.spiritualthingsmatter.com. Looks good, keep it up!
anyways..
Im a very “pure” christian and I guess I have a few questions on my mind..
I’ve been thinking a lot about dating.. but im not sure where to get going.
My brothers have been telling me christian dating is the way to go.. so I’ve done a little research on san bernardino christian singles and found some stuff on google
Would be nice to hear your input.
Comment by christian — August 22, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
Hello Christian,
Thank you much for your kind words. Well, dating is a big subject. I am not sure that I would be a good person to ask since I never dated before I married. I had huge fears of rejections and shyness and I was too terrified to step out and trust myself.
That said, however, I certainly would encourage dating…and dating the right people. Certainly you want to be sure that you have some things that you can connect with. If you are a strong Christian and that is important to you, then I am certain you would want someone that has the same believe system as you do. There are many good people out there and Christianity encompasses a lot. Ultimately, I would say, pray for guidance and trust your instincts.
I hope this helps a little. Wishing you the very best and good luck!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — August 22, 2008 @ 6:42 pm
Viola you are right on target — I know this is an old post I am commenting on, but the subject matter caught my attention, as I am having relationship problems and had to make some critical decisions. Thank you for your insight.
Comment by Amias — January 7, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
Amias, I wish you peace and comfort as you go through this difficult relationship ordeal. It is not easy. May you find a greater awakening of who and what you are during this time. Best to you always.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — January 7, 2009 @ 2:59 pm