A Wedding Invitation
Love-which is God- will consider our sighs and tears as incense burned at His altar and he will reward us with fortitude. ~Kahlil Gibran
In 1995, my husband, Scott, was attending college and also working on weekends while earning his advanced degree in geology at the University of Houston. I was full time employed at a local medical clinic. We had no children at the time. We had decided to wait until the college years were behind us so I could raise our children and avoid putting them into daycare. Our lives were occupied with school, projects, field trips, homework, and our jobs.
It was on one such busy day that I received a phone call from my brother, Jean, who was living in Germany. He had called to tell me that he was engaged to be married in May, and wanted to invite me to be a part of his wedding.
I have written here about the day he was adopted out of our orphanage and how I came to realize that I would not see him as a child again. Losing my little brother was a loss that would stay with me always. In time, I managed to bury the tears deep within me, and remove the memories from the forefront of my mind of that very painful day so long ago. It was a loss that I had to eventually find the courage to look at again, and again. It was a loss that I could not make any sense of, and yet with time, I was able to accept it and find meaning in it, which brought some healing to my heart.
Words cannot describe how excited I was to hear from Jean again after all these years of wondering where he was and how he was doing. I quickly realized just how rusty my German had become, and I was much relieved when I realized that he was able to speak English. That day, it became a mission of mine to regain my German language skills, to better communicate with my newfound family! Because my husband was in college, flying to Germany was going to be more of an expense for us than what we could afford at that time. However, the idea of our not flying to Germany to be a part of Jean’s wedding was out of the question. We were simply going to make that trip!
Some of my friends at work were so excited about the prospect of me seeing my brother again after so many years that they and my supervisor, knowing that my husband was in College, took up a collection to help out with our expenses as we prepared to fly to Germany. Contributing toward this reunion was a very generous and kind gesture from those who did not really know me that well. I was deeply humbled and thankful for their kindness and generosity.
As we flew to Germany, I was nervous and a bit apprehensive. I imagined every possible scenario under the sun. Would Jean recognize me? Would I recognize him? Would we both feel comfortable with each other or would our time together be awkward? When the moment arrived, and I saw Jean for the first time in 25 years, I felt something that words simply cannot explain. I recognized him right away even though over 25 years had passed. As we held one another in a tight embrace, the years melted away, and I cried. I cried for our loss. I cried for our reunion. I cried for this very profound moment in both of our lives. The emotions that welled up in me were overwhelming as my heart raced and my body shook. There was no awkwardness as we knew we belonged to each other.
The wedding was beautiful, and visiting with Jean and his new bride was a special time for us. They welcomed my husband with open arms, and the four of us had a wonderful time together. During this busy time, Jean and I did managed to have some time alone. We spoke about our childhood and the day he was taken away from me. Jean told me about his life with his new family, and we discussed how life had been for me staying behind in the orphanage and eventually moving to America. Though there was much to talk about, there were also times we would not say a word. Somehow, we understood each other as only siblings can. That understanding, we realized, was a part of the feeling of a deeper belonging and a deeper love.
In the years that followed, although we’ve spoken periodically on the telephone, I have not seen Jean since he was married in 1996. Much has taken place in his life as well as in our lives. As I spoke with my brother just a few days ago, we both knew it was time for another reunion. We will be traveling to Germany again soon, and I can’t wait to see him and spend some time with him again. I miss him. My two children also look forward to meeting their Uncle Jean, and my husband will enjoy clanging his beer krug once again with his.
Life is good! I am very thankful!
*Since we are getting ready to fly to Germany, I wanted to bring this post back up from last January. Finally, Jean and I are able to see each other again. We are looking so forward to it.
Gosh Viola, after a rough week it’s always a joy to read your postings.
Cheers,
Ray
Comment by RayG — January 26, 2008 @ 2:40 am
Ray, it’s always a pleasure having you come visit!
Thank you!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — January 26, 2008 @ 2:44 am
That’s wonderful news, Viola. May you have fair winds and smooth air for the journey. I look forward to your sharing the joys of the reunion with us.
Comment by Jimmy J. — January 16, 2009 @ 5:06 am
Thank you, Jimmy. We are going in March and I am so looking forward to it again. We will be renting a vacation house in Munich where my friend Simone and her husband live. You can read about her in a post entitled, The Laughter of Simone. She is wonderful and a lot of fun to be with.
Thanks for always checking in with me. I hope you and your wife are doing well.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — January 16, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
I hope you have a wonderful time with your brother. This post touches my heart!
Comment by SandyCarlson — January 19, 2009 @ 7:57 pm
Thanks, Sandy. We will be traveling in March. I am almost finished planning out the place where we are going to stay. My brother will be with us for 3 days. I am so happy for that!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — January 19, 2009 @ 10:26 pm
Hi there…I thought I saw your name on the O.S.Impression’s blog roll? Anyway, what a touching story! I’m glad to hear you’ll be reuniting again..my best to you-
Comment by Regina Marie — January 24, 2009 @ 12:47 am
Regina, thank you! We are looking forward to it.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — January 24, 2009 @ 12:51 am
Wow, this really made me realize how blessed I am to have my brother in my life. I can’t imagine the emptyness I would feel if he wasn’t there…
And then I think of Grace and Philip and the bond and love they already have for each other- only knowing each other for 4 months! It melts my heart.
Comment by Jennifer — May 11, 2009 @ 7:20 pm
Jennifer, yes, you are indeed a blessed young woman and your brother is blessed to have you. I know that Phillip and Grace will grow up loving each other and valuing each other as well. My children will too …if I can ever get them to stop fighting!:-)
Comment by Viola Jaynes — May 11, 2009 @ 9:39 pm