Forgiveness – Your Greatest Healer
Be assured that if you knew all, you would pardon all.
– Thomas A. Kempis.
Forgiveness is a gift that has been given to us freely. If we embrace this gift, our lives will forever be changed and our path will have been forever altered. If we still ourselves and enter into our own silence, we will begin to comprehend just what forgiveness really means. It is not for the faint-hearted.
As I contemplate the concept of forgiveness, my mind wanders back many years ago when a close friend deeply hurt me. The hurt that I felt was so profound that I allowed it to turn into anger. As long as I live, I will never forget one night in my bed, feeling this anger manifest as something very dark in my physical body. It was as though angry lightning shot through my every vein and bone. It frightened me and it was that night that I asked God to help me. Never again did I want to allow anger to have such a powerful hold on me. Over time, I was able to forgive this friend as I changed my own perception of things.
It was only recently that my prayer and determination of never again was thoroughly tested. The time had come to see if being injured again by a very dear friend, would manifest the fruits that I had desired so many years ago. It was a test that I would have never expected.
As I knelt in prayer and felt the agony and pain of betrayal so intensely again, I heard myself saying, “I will only bless and bless again. Only blessings will come from my mouth and only blessings will come through these hands.”
Thus, I have managed to work through some deep pain with only a desire in my heart to find healing and peace. It did not happen over night and many tears were shed in this process. However, the feeling in my heart has been one of love and compassion, knowing that we all only understand in part. Feelings of anger and betrayal that I felt so strongly, I turned over to God over and over again. My commitment to what I had promised myself so many years ago was deeply edged into my heart. Love was going to be the only answer! Thus, through forgiveness, I have found my own healing and thus I am convinced that it is forgiveness that becomes our greatest healer.
I have seen in others and myself what anger and unforgiveness can do to a human being. It will only further a victim mentality, only nurse self-pity, and it only keeps a person from following their truest potentials in life. It serves no purpose whatsoever and only robs the person of integrity and their own sense of well being. Most of all, it keeps us from trusting and loving again, and thus walls of separation are created between men. The beauty of the human soul is veiled with a dark veil of bitterness.
How much stronger is the power of forgiveness which ultimately is the power of love? To be able to forgive allows one to reclaim their personal power. It frees one of pre-conceived notions of how life should be and how others should treat us. Furthermore, it allows one to let go of grievances, allowing the flow of life’s energy to flow freely and unrestricted through us and to us. Forgiveness brings freedom. The beauty of its expression with its outstretched arms, dismantles fears and doubts.
As we walk on our spiritual path we gain greater understanding of how much we don’t know. Humility does its work deep in our hearts, which will lead to greater wisdom and a deeper understanding of our relationships with others. We are given the realization that each and every person does the best they know to do with the understanding they have at the time. Many of our dealings with others are born out of fear. We all are growing and learning, and we continue to evolve as we seek a spiritual path of excellence.
Love is the greatest spiritual manifestation on this earth. Our path must be practical for it to be effective. It must start with those who hear a voice echoing within the silence of their own hearts, beckoning to release the power of forgiveness, and to let the manifestation of its love heal our own brokenness. Then, and only then, will we be able to effectively assist in healing the broken lives of those around us.
*this post has been previously posted in March 2007
I totally agree with this wonderful article you have written, as a Medium forgiveness is one of the first things I have learned, that this is self healing, but for a while I found it difficult to come to terms with. But like yourself I have realised the benefit of forgiveness, it is like a light beaming out to others, it would be so nice if everyone felt this way, the world would be a much better place. Your article truly backs up the training I have had as a medium, and it is also confirmation of our Heavenly Father’s love for us. I feel really inspired by your article.
Comment by Allaina — March 21, 2007 @ 1:25 am
This is a great write on forgiveness and it’s a great healer indeed I enjoyed reading this too.
Steve
Comment by Steve — March 21, 2007 @ 11:58 am
I appreciate your write. If those who claim the Lordship of Christ see as you see, they would see the wisdom of the Lord as it blesses the obedient.
As I read your article, I can say I have learned the same things. What I also see in your write is someone who has shared in the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ; something the Apostle Paul alluded to in his Philippian letter.
Look at the life of Jesus, and compare it to your own. You mentioned being betrayed. Jesus was betrayed by Judas. He forgave, making a promise to not retaliate, as I’m sure you’ve made the same promise. Because you have endured/suffered as He has, you may be able to, in a more intimate way, appreciate what Jesus did for you and all of us. Because you now share in His experience here on earth, you should have a deeper connection with Him, the One who saved your soul.
Let that be an encouragement to you.
God bless!
Comment by Bob Barra — March 21, 2007 @ 6:26 pm
Forgiveness is difficult to manage for some. It often takes time to manage full forgiveness. I have forgiven many travesties and more in my life. You are right, definitely manifestation of God’s love, that’s what forgiveness would be. My favorite paragraph in this starts “How much stronger is the power of forgiveness which ultimately is the power of love.” A perfect depiction of forgiveness. Nice job.
Laura
Comment by LANEF — April 3, 2007 @ 1:51 pm
I could remember a quotation I read from a novel titled Jane Eyre when I was in Junior school whcih says “Time is too short for me to remmeber the past injustice” Time is too short for belivers to continue brewing anger oveer a split mik. Christ says “Offence shall come”but its divine to forgive. It may look difficult but I have experienced peace of mind whenever anybody offends, but only possible by looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of my faith. Moreover time is too short. Its a bubble.
Comment by Bamisayo-Francis Gbemi — August 19, 2008 @ 12:12 am
Thank you Bamisayo. I also needed to be reminded of this again. Thanks for visiting my site!
Comment by Viola Jaynes — August 19, 2008 @ 2:04 am
[...] to work through … Look at the life of Jesus , and compare it to your own. See more here: Spiritual Things Matter » Forgiveness – Your Greatest Healer Posted in Jesus Will Answer | Tags: baptizer, felt-the-agony, joy-may, Life, mouth, [...]
Pingback by Spiritual Things Matter » Forgiveness - Your Greatest Healer | Jesus Will Answer — July 12, 2009 @ 4:20 am
Anger is the most corrosive of emotions. It poisons our outlook, it destroys trust, and, when turned inward, drags us into the depths of depression.
In 1985 I was part of a labor strike – the Air Line Pilots Association (ALPA) against United Airlines. Some of the ALPA pilots crossed the picket lines. When the strike was over there was deep animosity between the strikers and the scabs (non-strikers). The atmosphere around the operations centers was filled with tension whenever one of the scabs was present. Conversation would cease, evil eyes were cast, oaths were muttered, and anger hung in the air like evil perfume. Much was at stake during the strike. The company had plans to replace all the union pilots and start over as a non-union airline. Those of us on the picket lines were literally betting our jobs and our livelihoods that the company was wrong. Those who crossed the line were trying to take our jobs. This was open betrayal and was hard to accept or understand.
During those tension filled months after the strike was over, I realized that the anger was corroding my humanity. I prayed for understanding and a release of my anger as a path to forgiveness. But my prayers were not answered. Over the next five years my anger turned inward and I descended into depression – a kind of self made purgatory. Finally, I accepted that I needed help. By chance I stumbled into the care of an anger management expert who, through a series of exercises, allowed me to examine my anger in all its deep-seated malevolence and then learn to release it in healthy, productive ways. My prayers were answered – just not the way I expected them to be. We are all fallible and weak. Often we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. And often when we least expect it our prayers are answered.
Comment by Jimmy J. — July 13, 2009 @ 3:35 am
Jimmy, this is an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing so openly here with us. No matter where we are in life, it is always good to remember that we are indeed fallible and weak. A constant honest look inward is is one of the best ways to walk through this life. Thank you my very dear friend, for sharing today.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — July 13, 2009 @ 4:27 am
Unforgiveness is a real destroyer! This is why the Lord teaches us to forgive. When we don’t forgive we are the ones being held prisoner. Those who offend us sometimes don’t even know that they have.
This article is very open and easy to understand. Thank you.
Tony
Comment by Mechanics Of Faith — July 28, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
Tony, thank you for your comment and your visit to my site. Warm wishes to you.
Comment by Viola Jaynes — July 30, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
I thank you Viola for a wonderful expression of forgiveness and love. You have shown to us something so supreme that I feel compelled to comment. I rarely have time to comment but I was so impressed that I made some time.
I agree with you 100% and that is what I have always said,
Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on hurts.
Those who lack spirituality always follow the path of perpetual failure. It is due to the fact that they remain preoccupied in things or people that have caused them some hurt in life. Little they realize that it is the holding on that hurts the most rather than vice verse. Forgiveness is the spiritual bliss that heals all your inner hurts.
Forgiveness is not just divine, it is human too
“Act of forgiveness” is typically a process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Forgiveness not only sets the person free who is forgiven but also and most importantly it sets free the person who forgives.
Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our mind (karma). It states,
“If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain. That is what suffering is. It lasts for life time.”
In Hinduism forgiveness is given a special place. It is akin to a great power. It states,
?Forgiveness is a virtue above righteousness. Righteousness is the highest good of power, but forgiveness is the supreme power.”
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. One study has shown that the positive benefit of forgiveness is similar whether it was based upon religious or secular counseling as opposed to a control group that received no forgiveness counseling.
I also agree with you on LOVE. You are right when you say,
I turned over to God over and over again. My commitment to what I had promised myself so many years ago was deeply edged into my heart. Love was going to be the only answer!
Love is the greatest spiritual manifestation on this earth. Our path must be practical for it to be effective. It must start with those who hear a voice echoing within the silence of their own hearts, beckoning to release the power of forgiveness, and to let the manifestation of its love heal our own brokenness. Then, and only then, will we be able to effectively assist in healing the broken lives of those around us.
I have the same notion of love and I have always said,
Love conquers all
In all faiths love is the guiding force. In some faiths God is love. In other faiths love is God. In some others even love thy enemy is not wrong. This is admirable because you always win your enemies by love not by hate.
Love is a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. It may range from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love; to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial bonds, to the platonic love of friends and to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central importance in life, is one of the most common themes in everything we do in life.
Seven centuries ago, Sa’adi, a Persian poet wrote the following verses,
“The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts one limb
The other limbs cannot remain at rest.
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others
You are not worthy to be called by the name of ‘man’ (human being).”
Seven hundreds years later, it still holds true.
Good work Viola. And thanks again for sharing it with us.
Sydshahid
Comment by Sydshahid — August 9, 2009 @ 7:00 am
Dear Sydshahid, What a surprise your comment was today. Thank you very much for your very thoughtful, thought provoking, and kind response it is. I loved your thoughts and I have written some of the quotes down ( I love quotes) for future reference. Your thoughts have truly touched me today. Thank you again. Warm wishes to you.
~Viola
Comment by Viola — August 9, 2009 @ 7:01 am
Hi Viola, Your writing on forgiveness gave inspiration to look in depth the all time question’
Why people can’t let go and why they hate and keep on hating?
Please read,
Regards,
Sydshahid
————-
Lately I got inspired by one of the blog (forgiveness our greatest healer) on this site written by Viola. It made me think and wonder why people don?t forgive and let go? Why they hate and why they keep on hating?
First of all let us look into one of the all time question that need to be answered here is,
What is hatred or hate?
All negative emotions are killers of spiritual, mental and physical health. Harboring these emotions will not only shorten the life but will also make us live in the most miserable way. Therefore, it is very important to deal with these in a constructive and therapeutic settings.
One of the most powerful negative emotions that are killer of spiritual, mental and physical health is hate or hatred.
Definition of hatred
HATRED or hate is a word that describes intense feelings of dislike. It can be used in wide variety of contexts, from hatred of inanimate objects to hatred of other people.
WHAT IS HATRED OR HATE?
Philosophers have offered many influential definitions of hatred.
1. Aristotle (Greek philosopher, 384 BCE – 322 BCE) viewed hate as a desire for the annihilation of an object that is incurable by time.
2. Rene Descartes (French philosopher, 1596 – 1650) viewed hate as awareness that something is bad, combined with an urge to withdraw from it. He could not elaborate beyond this due to poor and limited understanding of this emotion in his time.
3. Baruch Spinoza (Dutch philosopher, 1632 – 1677) defined hate as a type of pain that is due to an external cause. The cause, however, is not real. Given Spinoza’s insistence on a completely ordered world where “necessity” reigns, Good and Evil have no absolute meaning. Human catastrophes, social injustices, etc. are merely apparent. The world as it exists looks imperfect only because of our limited perception. Hate in his view was only a false perception of our poor sensory system. In other words all negative emotions are creation of our limited sensory perception.
4. David Hume (Scottish philosopher, 1711 – 1776) believed that hate is an irreducible feeling that is not definable at all. He tried to connect hatred with religion. His fear of lack of tolerance in the existing church made him less transparent to objectify his view of hate in the light of religion. Nevertheless, he did try to hint that religion had lot to do with emotional aptitude of negative feelings (hatred for example) surfacing due to intolerance of the church when it came to facing reality of the time. Hume’s early essay “Of Superstition and Religion” laid the foundations for nearly all subsequent secular thinking about the history of religion. Critics of religion during Hume’s time had to express themselves cautiously. Less than 15 years before Hume’s birth, an 18-year-old University student named Thomas Aikenhead was tried, convicted, and hanged for blasphemy for saying Christianity was nonsense. Hume followed the common practice of expressing his views obliquely, through characters in dialogues.
5. Sigmund Freud (an Austrian Psychiatrist, also honored as “the Father of Psychiatry”, 1856 – 1939) defined hate as an ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness. Source is usually projected as someone other than the true source. Analytically he described it as a defense mechanism (projection) that safeguards us from hurting (hating) the real source (loved one). By projecting our hate to the third party, we feel secure and safe. Freud ascertained this hypothesis by analytically elaborating the incidence of 10 years old boy who hated his horse. Under analysis Freud discovered that the boy actually hated his father (the real source). It was too painful for the boy to hate his father; therefore, he projected his hate on to his horse.
6. In a more contemporary definition, the Penguin Dictionary of Psychology defines hate as a “deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object.”
7. Because hatred is believed to be long-lasting. Many psychologists consider it to be more of an attitude or disposition (personality problem) than a (temporary) emotional state.
8. Currently it has been voiced repeatedly that hate is not an inherent phenomenon. Child is not born to hate anyone on the basis of color, gender, race, nationality, religion etc. Children can live harmoniously with anyone regardless of the believed differences. The seeds of hatred are sown by the parents, teachers, church and other authority figures during the formative years of the growing child. Once these seeds are sown, the fruits from these trees (later in life) deliver hate for anyone who differs from them in his/her belief even slightly (xenophobia).
Next we will discuss a very sensitive topic, hatred and religion; and how the interpreters of various traditional religions were successful in creating hate in their believers’ minds that led to holy wars (crusades) and loss of millions of innocent lives through out history.
Comment by Sydshahid — August 9, 2009 @ 7:02 am