September 20th 2009

The Silence Of Another

Oh, that silence! That which so intensifies my pain.
Silence drives me to search for a voice that brings comforting reassurance and understanding to a heart that cannot speak. A voice of one who knows the pain of too much love and too much brokenness. A voice of one who understands the human heart with all its potential for light and darkness. This voice I listen for will speak like a slow in-coming wave, with its powerful and majestic thunder-like peace.

It will say:

Speak and withhold nothing.
Speak clearly of that which lies so heavy upon your heart.
Speak, and I will listen, intently and thoughtfully.

Do not hold back, but speak – you who are like a broken arrow,
that you may once again pierce through the impossible.
That you may fly with precision and purpose through that infinite distance
for which you have been created.
Speak, though your chin may quiver as the forces are loosened and the dams are broken.
Speak, oh broken arrow, that you may land in that which has found its purpose in you.

Oh, let that deep wound heal now!
Let your weeping voice pour out;
Let each drop of those tears fill the hollow spaces that your wound has brought to light. May those spaces feel the warmth of your tears
As they penetrate through the driest barriers,
And let its salt become as a healing ointment, filling all empty spaces with understanding and love.

Speak!

Withhold not your deepest of thoughts.
For if you withhold even one thought,
it awaits again, in a silent reservoir
Filling it with your tears as your heart weeps once more,
For it has no place to go but deeper within you,
Making still deeper and wider those empty spaces.

Speak therefore!
Find your long-awaited peace!
Speak now.

~Viola M. Jaynes
March 2008




September 2nd 2009

Tears

To weep is to make less the depth of grief. ~William Shakespeare

The land of tears is a mysterious place as each shy tear droplet expresses the beauty of its pain or joy. Tears cleanse our souls and powerfully release the pressure we feel in our daily lives. Tears help us focus our vision and our purpose. It gives us the ability to hear and feel our heart again.

Tears need to be shed as they help the body and soul to cleanse many toxins of bitterness and anger, and of disappointments and shame. Tears help our other organs to stay free of dis-ease and sickness, for if we cannot weep, the body will begin weeping itself. The saltiness of our tears helps to remind us of its cleansing power. Life’s humbling agent has bent us only to discover that our tears have brought new strength again.

I think of those that weep for their marriage wondering if relief will ever come to their private and lonely pain, and longing and praying for oneness and togetherness in its truest form. At the same time, however, they perhaps realize that the shaping of their own character is the forming of a carefully created art piece, and the searching for lasting answers is but a deeper search into their own soul. Love that desires to mature will shed many tears as the changes of life bring new dimensions of truth.

I think of the many parents that weep over their children as they continually search for ways to instill in them an understanding of what is right and what is wrong – making many of their own mistakes in this difficult process of parenting. Many will soak their pillows as they experience their child growing and finding greater independence, often pushing away parental guidance. The fear of loss and control brings many to bitter tears. Yet, perhaps a realization and a finding of their deeper selves will bring thanksgiving into their hearts, and the understanding that our children are never truly ours, but have been given into our care – for only a short season.

My musings take me to lovers. Tears express the language of love, which brings such joy and pain to so many. Innumerable tears will be shed as they learn that the other can never be possessed and that the value of separateness will bring value to their togetherness. Love must always be willing to give as much space as the other requires, for it is in this space that a realization of the gift given draws one back into the circle of togetherness. It is there that a new dance of love can begin again.

It seems to me that those with greater awareness and understanding will weep many tears. For they have been given the gift of greater responsibility. Only with diligence and commitment to yet a deeper and higher purpose will they understand that the solving of human dilemmas can never come from their limited resources, wit, and cleverness. Wisdom cries out – for its effect is far beyond human intellect. It is available to all those who seek it. May their humility give them even greater insight to assit men and women, and boys and girls every where.

With a grieving heart I am ever so aware that as war prevails in our world due to the pride of men, many tears are shed for the loss of precious and innocent lives. The pain of such a loss goes deep, and only the healing balm of God’s grace can mend such broken hearts. Too many children suffer the injustices brought on by a failing system and by failing adults. Those who survive the deep wounds of war are left with a mind tortured by memories too dark and painful to bring to the forefront. And it is precisely then that true healers are needed – those who understand how to till the ground which has hardened during the driest of times; those who have the keenest understanding of how to teach that soul to let go and to let tears flow freely once again. I pray for the peace that this world so desperately needs.

I ponder about the many elderly who have been forgotten and are alone. Their tears flow with many regrets wondering if they could have lived life differently. At the same time, others will shed tears of joy as they see the fruit of their own diligent labor and prayers flourish and thrive. They will not fear death, but will await it with wonderment and thanksgiving.

I know that the downtrodden and lonely hearts cry tears of their own perceived inadequacies. Too often they wonder what it is that they could ever offer this world. Yet, it is in these humble souls that the purity of prayer is heard and answered. Their silent strength is a great gift to this world.

Oh how utterly aware I am that we all will shed many tears due to our frailties, our weaknesses, and our lack of courage. May we find the strength to forgive ourselves. These tears will teach us empathy and forgiveness as we become sensitive in knowing that each person carries a burden. This understanding is the path to forgive others. It is in this continued searching for greater wisdom, courage, and strength that life can be well lived. Our own courage will be realized as we express our regrets to those we have injured. It may be the most healing and meaningful gift we could ever offer – not only to ourselves but also to the other. I pray that we may never fear to be transparent for it is in our tears of honesty, new strength in truth is found.

At the end of this life, it will not have mattered what my profession was and how many wonderful things I have accomplished on this earth. Who I was will have mattered -for it will have left a lasting affect.

Tears are truly a gift – a wonderful gift to ourselves.




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