Spiritual Things Matter

Honor the moment of suffering for in such is the kernel of knowledge. Turn inward for in the stillness will be your strength. ~Diane Ethridge

From the very beginning of life, a journey begins in our hearts that will eventually find either a peaceful ending or one of sadness and regret. How enlightening it is when it is realized that this is usually a choice completely of our own making. A choice that I pray will be wise and thoughtfully lived out as our heart travels through this life.

As we learn to be open to life’s experiences, we allow our heart to take note of all the wonderful emotions that we as human beings have been granted. It takes wonderment and curiosity as only a child possesses to live life to its fullest, and to let our heart expand with each phase and with each new experience. It is a great gift to ourselves when we allow our inward child to remain with us until the end of our earthly journey. The joy that child can bring into our lives through its perceptive awareness, is profound.

Coming to the United States at the age of 14, and not being able to speak any English, was a great challenge for me. Growing up in an orphanage, and not ever having experienced the closeness and love of a mother and father, created a feeling of distance between the world and myself. I often felt I had to protect myself at all cost. After arriving in America, I lived with my father and his then wife. I suddenly found myself going to school and work experiencing both a reality on the outside world, and a entirely different reality in my internal world. As a result, I found myself very lonely and afraid much of the time. The dysfunctional behavior from those I lived with only added to the complexity. I felt so alone.

Once, a teenage boy I worked with asked to take me out to dinner. After he brought me back home, he turned to kiss me and I became paralyzed with fear. How would it ever be possible to allow someone to get physically close to me? I turned my head quickly and knew very well that my embarrassment was far more than what would be considered “normal” for a teenager experiencing her first date and her first kiss. At my very core, I realized that I feared “love” and found myself not knowing how to react. I trusted no one with my life, and I continued to shut myself off within but somehow managed to wear my “outward” mask well. During my teenage years and throughout my mid-twenties, I never allowed myself to date because the fear of facing the inevitable rejection that young hearts sometimes experience as they search for love, paralyzed me.

Today, after 19 years of marriage, I can look back at those innocent and fearful years and understand that I often shut life out because I was afraid to open my heart and truly feel the passion that life holds for all of us. Today, I look forward in anticipation to continue to open my heart to other hearts, to new experiences, to greater passions and joys, and to live life truly in its fullness and beauty. As I look back, there is the realization that even in my paralysis, I have gained some wisdom and understanding, for this has been my continual prayer. Today, I bow in thankfulness for God’s grace and love as He continues to heal all areas of this life. Through His wisdom, He has allowed circumstances to come into my life that have made me look at this fearful heart of mine, and to understand that in all things are nuggets of wisdom and insight to be found.

In my contemplation, I realize that my heart has traveled a long journey. At times, I have tired and I have wondered how to continue on. Nowadays, though, I realize that I desire for my heart to keep on traveling, to keep the courage, and to see beauty in all things. To love and be loved, and to understand that even the pain it may bring, compares not to the joy that I feel from allowing my heart to be free from so much unnecessary fear.

Travel on my heart, travel on
It is safe to travel on.
Life holds beauties yet unseen.
Travel on my heart, travel on.

Give freely and gently of your heart
and you will see that it is no longer just in part.
For life is one continuous exchange -
of beauty, love and grace.

Embrace it with wonderment - for it is safe
Love’s eternal presence will always aid.

Travel on my heart, travel on
It is safe to travel on.
Life holds beauties yet unseen.
Travel on my heart, travel on.

Viola Jaynes

It is not God’s will merely that we should be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy. ~ Immanuel Kant

Ah, what a breath of fresh air this young man’s singing was to my heart. As I sat and watched Paul Potts sing, I realized that he embodied what my continuous growing belief-system is: we all have choices in our lives. We do not have to succumb to a “victim mentality” at any point or time. We can choose to take any circumstance that comes our way and look at it from a powerfully new and refreshing point of view. In all things, I believe, there are lessons to be learned. This young man spoke to the deepest part of my heart as he displayed his belief in himself and the gift that had been given to him, as well as a determination to never give up.

A number of years ago, I attended a week-long seminar that was entitled, “Exceptional Women.” I was moved to observe that each woman there had a story to tell and all were trying to find a better way to function as women, as wives, as lovers, and as human beings. Instead of falling into depression, feelings of helplessness, incessant worry, or allowing obsessive thoughts and behavior to rule their lives, these women had decided to take responsibility for their own happiness. I was deeply moved as I saw these courageous women display such honesty and a genuine desire to change.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Choosing happiness over chronic anger, frustration, complaining and constant fear, is a much wiser choice to make. It has long been realized that emotions have an enormous effect on our bodies. I am a firm believer that as human beings, it is important to express our emotions fully. To feel anger and fear, for example, is part of our human make-up. These emotions serve us well and help guide many of our decision-making processes. However, it is when we choose to get stuck in these feelings and not grow beyond them, or when we forget to be truly thankful for the many blessings that we have been given in our daily lives, that we are placed in danger of illnesses of all sorts - be it physical, emotional or even mental.

Fear of rejection and abandonment has been one of the more poignant issues that I have had to face. This fear was more deeply ingrained in me than even I could understand. It was a fear that could debilitate me to the point where I would witness events happening around me that, under normal circumstances, I would never allow to happen. That which I feared the most would come upon me, and I would once again begin to feel so broken. However, I also understand that situations come into our lives when we are ready and ripe enough to handle them. I knew that it was time for me to look at “rejection”and “abandonment” square in the face and to have the courage to ask myself some very hard and painful questions. I found out that it could not destroy me, nor could it shatter the strong spirit that I had been given. Most of all, however, it could not destroy my faith.

Choosing happiness over misery takes only one thing: - being truly honest with one’s self, which means to be willing to look at every detail of our life and ask ourselves if this is really the very best that we want to be. Most of us will find something in our lives that we would rather change for the better. When we make these changes, we will become more accepting and loving towards others. It will make us much more able to reach out with kindness and acceptance - that so many people desperately need. The choice is always ours…always.

Choosing to live a much happier life empowers a person to do things they never thought were possible. It gives them the energy and vitality to explore new possibilities. It gives them an odd sense of creativity that they never even knew they had. It will allow one to tap into a higher realm that has always existed but was not realized because our vision was focused on the lower things of this earth.

Paul Potts has indeed set a great example. As Minnie Pearl’s teacher once said, “Bruise your fingertips on the points of stars.” So, do go ahead and reach for those things that you really want in your life. Do go ahead and dare to dream big dreams and challenge yourself to live as happily as you can live. That takes true courage! You might be truly astounded at what all is possible and waiting there for you.

I wanted to add this last clip since Paul Potts won. Congratulations to you Paul! I wish you God’s very best for the rest of your life! You have truly touched my heart.

Change is the essence of life. A willingness to surrender for what one is for what one could become. ~Author unknown

Nothing is of greater importance or greater value in this life as spiritual reality. Nothing has any real meaning for any sustained period of time except the spiritual reality of knowing God. Many are familiar with Dr. Scott Peck’s writings. His most prominent book would be, “The Road Less Traveled.” I have read all of his works and was struck when he made his comment, that much human suffering would be eliminated by the sheer surrender to God. The only real cure for many difficult human ailments and complexities is a decision to follow God and to be thankful for all that touches our lives.

The surrender process automatically leads to a greater thankfulness of heart. Understanding that gratitude can bring about an enormous amount of freedom and healing is liberating. It is one of the most important principles that anyone can exercise in their lives, and eventually, it will transform itself into a lifestyle of gratitude. The way we look at things will change and often the problems simply dissolve.

A person who is serious about spiritual growth in their life will find that many deep stirrings accompany a deeper surrender to God. We constantly make discoveries about ourselves that bring discomfort and sometimes even embarrassment. Some would rather not look within at all. However, if we choose to look the other way or walk away from surrendering ourselves to God, these will remain there until we are finally prepared to handle them. We will face these again and again until courage arises to make different choices. Gibran says it beautifully: “Let your stumbling blocks become your stepping stones.” Each and every person who desires to grow will walk a similar path. Men and women who have gone before us and attained great spiritual insights have had to walk this path. We are not alone!

It takes enormous courage to make a decision that, “No matter what, I will surrender ALL to God.” The possibilities of this level of commitment are astounding and unimaginable. The changes that take place in the human heart are sometimes even unrecognizable. Efforts will be blessed because the energy is one of spiritual commitment and integrity. If spiritual pride does raise its head, then that too can be unashamedly turned over to God. A new assuredness has been realized and a deep gratitude for God’s amazing grace is in the heart.

Please let us never judge so harshly against our own growing process and against ourselves. Being willing to change the way we think will help us to embrace ourselves. If we can understand that others are also on their own spiritual journey, then there is no more room left to judge others. This understanding opens the door to a greater lovingness and acceptance. Thus, life is experienced with greater peace as we surrender to Him in great depth.

Viola Jaynes