Spiritual Things Matter

Love-which is God- will consider our sighs and tears as incense burned at His altar and he will reward us with fortitude. ~Kahlil Gibran

In 1995, my husband, Scott, was attending college and also working on weekends while earning his advanced degree in geology at the University of Houston. I was full time employed at a local medical clinic. We had no children at the time. We had decided to wait until the college years were behind us so I could raise our children and avoid putting them into daycare. Our lives were occupied with school, projects, field trips, homework, and our jobs.

It was on one such busy day that I received a phone call from my brother, Jean, who was living in Germany.  He had called to tell me that he was engaged to be married in May, and wanted to invite me to be a part of his wedding.

I have written here about the day he was adopted out of our orphanage and how I came to realize that I would not see him as a child again. Losing my little brother was a loss that would stay with me always. In time, I managed to bury the tears deep within me, and remove the memories from the forefront of my mind of that very painful day so long ago. It was a loss that I had to eventually find the courage to look at again, and again.  It was a loss that I could not make any sense of, and yet with time, I was able to accept it and find meaning in it, which brought some healing to my heart.

Words cannot describe how excited I was to hear from Jean again after all these years of wondering where he was and how he was doing. I quickly realized just how rusty my German had become, and I was much relieved when I realized that he was able to speak English.  That day, it became a mission of mine to regain my German language skills, to better communicate with my newfound family!   Because my husband was in college, flying to Germany was going to be more of an expense for us than what we could afford at that time.  However, the idea of our not flying to Germany to be a part of Jean’s wedding was out of the question. We were simply going to make that trip!

Some of my friends at work were so excited about the prospect of me seeing my brother again after so many years that they and my supervisor, knowing that my husband was in College, took up a collection to help out with our expenses as we prepared to fly to Germany.  Contributing toward this reunion was a very generous and kind gesture from those who did not really know me that well.  I was deeply humbled and thankful for their kindness and generosity.

As we flew to Germany, I was nervous and a bit apprehensive. I imagined every possible scenario under the sun.  Would Jean recognize me?   Would I recognize him?  Would we both feel comfortable with each other or would our time together be awkward?   When the moment arrived, and I saw Jean for the first time in 25 years, I felt something that words simply cannot explain.   I recognized him right away even though over 25 years had passed.  As we held one another in a tight embrace, the years melted away, and I cried. I cried for our loss.  I cried for our reunion.  I cried for this very profound moment in both of our lives.  The emotions that welled up in me were overwhelming as my heart raced and my body shook.  There was no awkwardness as we knew we belonged to each other.

The wedding was beautiful, and visiting with Jean and his new bride was a special time for us. They welcomed my husband with open arms, and the four of us had a wonderful time together.   During this busy time, Jean and I did managed to have some time alone. We spoke about our childhood and the day he was taken away from me.  Jean told me about his life with his new family, and we discussed how life had been for me staying behind in the orphanage and eventually moving to America.  Though there was much to talk about, there were also times we would not say a word.   Somehow, we understood each other as only siblings can. That understanding, we realized, was a part of the feeling of a deeper belonging and a deeper love.

In the years that followed, although we’ve spoken periodically on the telephone, I have not seen Jean since he was married in 1996.  Much has taken place in his life as well as in our lives.  As I spoke with my brother just a few days ago, we both knew it was time for another reunion.  We will be traveling to Germany again soon, and I can’t wait to see him and spend some time with him again.  I miss him.  My two children also look forward to meeting their Uncle Jean, and my husband will enjoy clanging his beer krug once again with his.

Life is good!  I am very thankful!

*Since we are getting ready to fly to Germany, I wanted to bring this post  back up from last January.  Finally, Jean and I are able to see each other again.  We are looking so forward to it.

May you always find happiness deep within your heart.
May you continue to spread your wings and follow your dreams.
May your joy guide you to many possibilities.
And may you have the wisdom to know your path.

Even though others might choose a different path from yours,
May you have the self-assurance to always follow your own.
May you stay truthful in your walk through life,
And may compassion and mercy forever be your guide.

May you always know that we love you deeply,
And we are an extension of God’s grace for your life.
May you never doubt your value and your preciousness
For within you are all of your gifts housed.

Happy Birthday, my Darling!

I love you so much!

Always,

Your Mama

Tags: Birthday, Blessing, Family, Humanity, Love, Mother-Daughter, Poem, Prayer

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. ~Mohandas Gandhi

My heart goes out to all those who have lost so much and are now trying to put the pieces of their lives back together following Hurricane Ike. We now have our power back, but many in the greater Houston area and Galveston, as well as its surrounding areas, still do not. Only now have we been able to really see the devastation caused by Ike.

I live in The Woodlands, Texas, which is about 75 miles north of Galveston. Hurricane Ike did quite a bit of damage in our area even though we are more inland. Our house was not hit by a tree, which was a major concern since we have four large trees in our back yard of which two are huge Pine trees. We also have a large Sweet Gum tree in our front yard which gave me some concern since it is only a few feet from our house. The only thing we lost was our back fence, and some minor damage to our side garden. Neither of which will be difficult to remedy.

We had neighbors that lost so much. One house had five trees that fell on top of it, and the house is beyond repair. Another house, where a woman and daughter decided to sleep in a front room to be more safe, had a tree fall directly into that room. Neither were hurt, but the shock must have been enormous. Trees came down on boats and vehicles. One neighbor just finished remodeling her kitchen when a huge tree fell through the roof and damaged both the kitchen and living room. We saw one house after another damaged, and realized that so many homes were hit with these enormous trees we have in our area. Nature has shown her strength to us, and I am deeply humbled by it.

I was immensely touched and impressed that so many people were in high spirits following the storm. Everyone, including the ones who lost so much, were thankful for their lives and the lives of their loved ones. I saw one sign that read, “Landscaped by Ike,” and another sign that humorously read, “Yard of the Month.” I smiled when I read them because I realized that people somehow kept their sense of humor in the midst of all the destruction and tears. I spoke with many of my neighbors, and most were thankful because they knew it could have been so much worse. Some were not so fortunate. The pain of losing a life is immense. The pain of many who lost literally everything they own is devastating. This will take time to heal and, it will take time to restore things to normal once again.

For years as we walked through the neighborhood streets, I would comment to my husband that I could never understand where all the people are. No one ever was outside. We rarely ever saw people walking along the streets or working in their yards. The shades were always pulled down, and even those who were homemakers or home-schooled their children were nowhere to be seen. This hurricane, as deadly as it was, changed some of that. Our streets and neighborhood came together as we helped each other out. After living in this neighborhood for eleven years, and our current street for six years, I have come to better know our neighbors for the first time. My husband jokingly commented seeing some neighbors down the street for the very first time ever! I realized once again that our post-modern society has truly lost so much. Consumerism has stolen our souls and our connection to each other. I can only pray that the friendships that have been formed and the comradeship that has been fostered among people working together following this hurricane will grow into lasting relationships. My heart is filled with gratitude to have seen the hearts of people as they worked alongside one another, and lifted each other up.

Please pray for all those that need our prayers. Be generous with your prayers since there are many needs to be addressed.

“If you elevate the world around you, then you elevate yourself.” ~Sigmund, Carl and Alfred

Thank you to all my blogger friends whom I have come to cherish, and thank you to all our other friends and family that have prayed for us. I am thankful for each one of you!

^{Photograph by: R. Scott Jaynes}

This past weekend, we flew to Arizona to attend a seminar once more by Dr. David R. Hawkins. If you have not yet read his book, “Power vs. Force,” I would recommend it to you. It is controversial in some circles, but I am all for people investigating and making up their own minds. That is the beauty of having the ability to reason and think. It is also acceptable to change your mind about something you have supported or now disagree with. It is a part of growing and expanding yourself, and it can be very fun.

As before, it was a delight to see this 80 something little gentleman still lecturing. His sense of humor is priceless, and he is full of knowledge as he relates his many experiences with his patients in very practical terms. Time and again, he explains how a spiritual awareness so very often brings a profound change in peoples lives, as well as healing to so many of our human dilemmas and pain. Many of our world’s major religions teach this truth.

We flew out a day early because we wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Initially, our plans were to do some hiking but because I just had bladder surgery, I had to forgo such an outing. Instead, we signed up to take a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. Words fail to describe just how breathtakingly beautiful it was. I was awestruck at its magnificence! If you ever have the chance to see it for yourself, it would be well worth your time.