Spiritual Things Matter

There is no way to happiness - happiness is the way. ~The Buddha

Yesterday, I had one of those perfect days where all seemed right and well with the world. One of those days, where despite of all the troubling happenings one hears and reads on the news programs, blogs, and television, the world seemed somehow right in my own heart and mind.

It all began in the morning when my children kept calling me, instructing me by saying, “Mama, please don’t come into the kitchen yet!” I smiled because I had a hunch that they were planning to surprise me with something really special. Finally, with excitement and glowing faces, they came and brought me into the kitchen. My children had fixed a wonderful breakfast just for me. The table was covered with a pretty tablecloth and my son lit candles to set the mood for this special moment. On the table I found French Toast and eggs, which I had recently shown my children how to fix. They cut the toast into tiny pieces and sprinkled it with powdered sugar. My daughter had placed pieces of bananas into a cereal bowl and mixed the fruit with my favorite yogurt. She proudly told me, “Mama, I know how much you love yogurt with fruit”, I hugged her and smiled - all the while pretending that I did not see the splattered egg mix everywhere and the eggs shells lying around on the greasy counter-top. I also closed my eyes to the many dirty utensils and dishes that were used in this process of making breakfast for me.

As I marveled at their love and thoughtfulness, I sat down to eat. They huddled over me like little bumblebees asking me after every bite I took, if my breakfast was really good. Since it was not my birthday nor was it even Mother’s Day, I asked them what the special occasion was. Their reply simply was, “Mama, we wanted to surprise you because we love you.” Hesitatingly, they acknowledged that the kitchen was really a mess and it would take them a long time to clean it up. I told them since they had done such a terrific job making breakfast, I would clean the kitchen. It was such a delightful moment and one that I will remember for a long time.

In the afternoon, we attended a performance in which my daughter participated. She had been attending a music camp for the last couple of years which lasts for one week each summer. At the end of the week, they do a performance for all the parents. My daughter loves music and singing, feeling completely comfortable in that environment. She was especially excited since her grandparents and great-grandmother were also able to attend and enjoy the show. I marveled at how the children could memorize these songs and movements to the songs in just one week. After the show, I saw dear friends whom I cherish and my children saw a few teachers from school, as well as some of their friends.

Later in the evening, we were invited, along with a second couple, to another friends’ home, for a fish dinner. We all enjoyed a wonderful time together, filled with laughter, great conversations, great food, and a genuine concern and love for each other. It really was a perfect ending for a perfect day!

Oh death, suddenly you come - but we fear you not.
You teach us awareness, each and every time.
You teach us humility and gratefulness.
Your presence brings new resolve into our lives -
to be kinder to all who have been entrusted to us.
To love even more deeply those who need us -
as well as those who want from us.

Oh death, you embrace us with a very cold chill -
leaving us to find warmth and comfort again.
You whisper realities into our ears that are not of this world -
that we might seek and seek,
and then finally find a deeper
and more secure place within ourselves.
Indeed, you are a part of the cycle of birth and dying -
of beginning and ending.
Yet, never the end to Light and Love -
for always it will continue on.

Let comfort come to those who are left behind.
Let light and hope illuminate the heart.
Let time bring its gentle healing kiss -
that tears may transform grief into laughter and joy again.
Let the beauty of life blossom
in each one who has loved him - whom you have taken.
Let them always remember him
and the joy and the love he so generously gave.

~Viola M. Jaynes

~Dedicated to the Memory of Barney Bolt~

The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. ~Socrates

Being honest with oneself, without any sense of pretense, pride, or shame, is one of the most significant undertakings of a human life. It is at that moment that our outlook on life begins to change. One comes to a place in life where pretense is tiring and unless authenticity of existence takes place, all will have become a farce and a big lie that begins to build upon the next lie and then the next.

Self-honesty is also one of our most difficult undertakings and those who choose to take this path will find that they spend much more time in the process of becoming a loving and compassionate human being than they ever did in trying to “fix” others or the world around them. With much contemplation, it will become apparent that each human being has much work to do if they desire to evolve and grow in this lifetime.

I love this quote by Socrates, which I used today, because it brings this work down to the level where we all live. Each and every one of us projects our ideal onto the world. We want others to see us in the best light possible. We want to be seen as good, as caring, as intelligent and as someone who cares enough about others to contribute positively to their lives in some fashion. In short, we all desire to be good. These are tangible ideals and desires, and not at all impossible to attain. Yet, within each of our lives, it seems, there are many struggles and much pain to face. Motivations must be looked at honestly.

I have mentioned before how impressed I was by the work of best selling author and Psychiatrist, Dr. Scott Peck, and the conclusion he had come to after many years in practice. In one of his later books, Dr. Peck mentioned that the greatest healing a human being can encounter is through a total spiritual surrender and commitment. Similarly, the famous Swiss Psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, once had to be completely honest with one of his hopeless patients, Roland, when he told him, “Alas, neither I, nor my art, can help you, and your only hope is to throw yourself wholeheartedly into a spiritual program, for it is recorded in history that, although rare, recoveries have occurred under those circumstances.” Roland eventually had a dramatic recovery and he set the stage for what is known around the world as the “Twelve-Step Movement,” as well as other faith-based programs (Hawkins 2006). As a result of this advice, millions of people have been helped and healed in these types of programs.

A friend of mine, Dr. Steve, introduced me to a spiritual teacher by the name of Dr. David R. Hawkins who has changed my outlook on life more than anything else ever has before. Steve has also profoundly touched my life for the past three years. The result of our meeting has been a clearer understanding of my own inner workings, my desires and yearnings, and even of my greatest fears. This understanding has taught me the need to reach deeper within myself to find answers to some very difficult questions and the findings have been well worth the search. Steve has been very influential in solidifying my deepest convictions of God’s presence in my life as he has worked with me with understanding, kindness and compassion. I am very thankful for his life.

Dr. Hawkins explains beautifully, in his work, the reason why we struggle so much. He explains clearly and concisely that our ego, the lower and more primitive part within each of us, is tenacious in holding on, insisting on its own way and wanting to stay in charge. It plays havoc with our emotions and our lives when we allow it to be in control. Dr. Hawkins also explains though, that it is not something to be shunned or hated, but rather to be embraced and accepted. It is a matter of the “will” and re-training ourselves in recognizing that the God, who lives in each of us, has a much nobler path for us to walk. The experience of finding, choosing, and walking that path will prove to be life changing. Self honesty will lead this way.

Thomas Jefferson said, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” It takes enormous courage to be honest with oneself. Looking at every detail of our lives and at every corner of our heart will bring to the forefront those things that need to be turned over to the grace of God. Such radical authenticity will bring greater freedom, peace, and happiness into one’s life.

I am honored to be able to attend a “one-day seminar with my husband,” presented by Dr. David Hawkins that will be held this November. This man is 80 years old and has committed his entire life to helping others and to spiritual research. His work is, I believe, profoundly important in the day and age in which we live. I am deeply thankful for the work he has contributed to our world!

Keep me away from wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.
~Kahlil Gibran

I received an unexpected gift in the mail yesterday from a very dear friend of mine in Germany. I opened it up with curiosity and found a little heart sachet, which now graces my kitchen, and a beautiful little necklace. After receiving this gift yesterday, I found myself filled with gratitude, laughter and joy. Thus, I would like to share this story:

My years in the orphanage were filled with a variety of social workers which always brought with it a different dimension to the group. There were six different groups, each having their own building and their own two social workers. Each group consisted of 15-18 boys and girls of all ages. The entire structure was closed off by a white wall. The duration of each social worker would vary. Two of the groups had social workers that stayed for years. Most however, stayed for a time and then moved on for various reasons. Our group usually had new social workers every two years.

Simone was a young woman that replaced an older, matronly lady. Her presence in our group was very welcome and needed. Her youth brought with it a vivacious and happy spirit, which was refreshing to our souls. Her sense of style awakened in us a “non-orphan mentality”. When it came time to buy new clothes, she would help pick “stylish” items out and we all began to look a little nicer. We felt so proud!

What I cherished most about Simone though, was her genuineness and authenticity towards each of us. She encouraged us to write our thoughts down on paper. She then would take the time to read them and talk with us about them. She sat and helped many of us create photo albums, which I have to this day. Often, she would embrace us with such warmth and sincerity, that for many of us it was the first time where we have been physically acknowledged in such a way. Her embraces came usually with much laughter and a light heart. Our loneliness would dissipate, even if just for a moment. Wearing her red lipstick, she would often give us a kiss on the cheek and we would not dare wash it off for days. It was a sign to us of our specialness and our value.

Activities such as hiking, biking and taking walks, took on new joy and excitement. Somehow there was more meaning now and life seemed to have changed for us. The energy in our group had transformed. She was not afraid to express her emotions fully and thus encouraged us to do the same. Her laughter was a brook of refreshment for us and, I believe, an awakening to greater hopes. Somehow we realized that the world is bigger than the confines of our orphanage.

At times, Simone’s fiance, Heiner, would come and visit. We would rough-house with him and have pillow fights as children would only do with a father. I have a photograph, where many of us were piled on top of him. How he was able to breathe, I don’t know. Being a photographer, he took many wonderful black and white pictures of us and gave them to us as gifts.

It was always sad when it came time for Simone to have some time off or go on vacation. The group simply was not the same without her. We would feel the loss of her presence immensely. Then of course, the time came when she married her fiance and left us for good. After she left, our group changed. The closeness and warmth we felt was gone. We were graced with her presence for two years. It was the best years that I had spent in the orphanage. Years that had enriched my life and added dimensions of depth and color - for which I am deeply thankful. The gift that she left behind, deep in our hearts, is a gift that I do not think she was aware of. The effects, however, were far reaching.

Over the years, I would often think of Simone. I would hear her laughter echo in my soul during times of extreme sadness and disparity. I would envision her white teeth that could only be seen when one laughs fully from the heart. The energy of her laughter would help me to look for answers and to find meaningful ways to work through my pain. This same energy would also help me to know again and again that life has many possibilities and many genuinely happy moments. It was a gift that has stayed with me to this day and indeed, it was medicine for my own saddened and down-trodden heart as I have worked to find my own path in life.

My love for this person created in me a desire to find her again. Through a mutual friend, I was able to locate her after 25 years. Arriving at the airport and seeing her for the first time, after so many years had past, was an experience that cannot be put into words. I had found a kindred spirit again. Her laughter welcomed me as her arms embraced me. I felt at home!

Simone and Heiner, who brought so much laughter and fun-filled moments into our lives, welcomed me with open arms. What a joy it was to see both of them again! After the birth of my baby girl, Simone flew to the United States to pay me and my family a visit as well. I felt deeply moved and honored by this gesture of thoughtfulness and love.

This then, is a great picture of what Simone is all about. She is not only about projecting great ideals, flowered with beautiful words, but she sets into motion passions which matter most in her life. Her realness, authenticity and love of life speak volumes of wisdom and joy to my heart. Having shared herself fully with children that were not her own, shows the warmth and kindness of her heart. The wisdom that she displayed at such a young age, as she interacted with each of us, was beyond her years. I have gained great spiritual insight through her passions and love for life. For that, I am deeply thankful!

May her laughter always pierce through the darkness, pain and suffering of others.

Viola Jaynes