Spiritual Things Matter

Loss pierces the heart - only to notice that the arrow landed in something new.  ~Viola M. Jaynes

To live is to experience loss. Loss can bring about intense pain and suffering and unless one receives clarity of the meaning of the loss itself, it can turn into depression and sometimes even physical illness.

I think back to the summer of 1976 when I was to make a new life here in the States. I was fearful of all the new things that would await me, yet thrilled to be learning a new language, being in a new culture and gaining the closeness and warmth of a family.

However, it was not very long before I realized that those illusions were simply that - illusions. The possibilities were not there because the family I had come into was deeply troubled. It was a time for me to become stronger, a time of finding something within myself that I could trust and on which I could rely. I missed my well-established routines in the orphanage and the consistency of the social workers being available, helping with homework, sitting down to our scheduled meals and having our scheduled bedtime. I realized that the foundation of my orphanage years were solid and they built something in me that would always be a part of my life. I have often been very thankful for those early and formative years.

I sometimes contemplate the meaning of those early years in this country. The deep disappointment that I felt of losing a dream. A dream that I had created in my own mind and heart to have a close and loving family. A dream of being welcomed and supported with each new effort that was made.

I contemplate and listen to the wisdom of my own heart.

The desire of family is the unity of a Greater Reality that my heart already knew. The dreams and hopes were possibilities, unending, that could and would still be realized. The courage to step out to start a new life, was the courage I would realize again as I commit myself to a spiritual path. My hopes and dreams for warmth have been realized, in measure, as I love and cherish my own children.

Losing something that we hold close and dear to our hearts is profoundly painful. Could it be realized though, that this loss really represents a new opportunity? This is a new chance to give birth to the wonderful and creative force within, to bring into existence the beauty, the ideal, the dream of our hearts. It is within our power to do so. It will bring clarity and a realization of the strength that dwells within each of us.  It will free us into greater heights of possibilities, and a much greater awareness of who we are.

Every person must work through many things in life. It is only through searching that we are able to find meaning and answers. Apathy and anger towards the things that have played out in our lives will only bring us greater pain. Blaming others will only lend itself to a victim mentality which can never bring about any growth or any real possibilities for spiritual ascension. The basic antidote to our brokenness is humility by turning one’s life completely over to something much greater than ourselves, and trusting in Him/Her for their wisdom and their foreknowledge. I am convinced that this energy of Love never falters and its kindness is always extended to us. This is the creative force, housed within each of us, that beautifies our lives and allows us to create our finest dreams. It is this Love in which I deeply place my devotion and my trust, for without it, life for me would be without any real meaning and without any real purpose whatsoever.

At the end of our journey, I believe, we will notice that during the most painful events of our lives, we also, simultanesouly, began to live life a little more thankful, a little kinder and more gentle toward ourselves and others around us.  It is precisely during those moments that a sudden leap is made into a search for true meaning, if we are willing, truly willing…to be honest with our selves.

To all those who have suffered loss, - be at peace!

Let us never forget to be kind to a hurting world. Let us never forget to reach out to others in tenderness and understanding. It is amazing the healing power kindness and love can bring to the human heart. It is transforming!

A secret friend sent me this poem by poet Darrel Kincaid. You can read it in its entirety here.

“Lesson learned is not to Love less,
With Love,
lesson is, to learn to Love Grander
With Gain.”
~Darrel Kincaid

Portions of this post have been previously published

Sacredness brings a gentle transformation as our roots go ever deeper into its rich and fertile soil. ~Viola M. Jaynes

Hurricane Ike left a great path of destruction. One of the things that I have found so astounding are the huge trees that have been pulled out of the ground by their entire root-system. To my amazement many of those trees only had about a five to seven inch root system supporting an entire tree. As I inquired about this, I was told that the roots do not go past the clay and therefore, the roots expand outward but do not go deep. I was utterly amazed that these huge trees we have in our town here are really only supported by very shallow roots.

Of course, my readers know me well by now. How could I not immediately see a parallel into our own lives with a lesson given to us so generously by nature. I think of a long ago friend who told me once that he has always had his way in life. Everything he has ever wanted, no matter what it was, seemed to fall right in line with his desires. Yet, this same person struggled immensely with dealing with everyday life. The smallest troubles that came his way seem to collapse him into a state of total helplessness. Alcohol seemed to give him some relief, and his many visits to his psychiatrist seemed to only prop him up temporarily.

Another person once told me that she lived in a home that was much like the TV series ,”Leave it to Beaver.” In her description, her childhood was perfect. This same young woman also told me that she felt it was this perfect environment that has brought her the most challenges trying to function as an adult. I was puzzled over her story and pondered over it for sometime.

I do not necessarily believe that people must suffer in order for them to become a strong human being, although, suffering does tend to burn away the harder outer crust of our hearts, which allows a gift of compassion to surface as suffering has pierced deeply into the essence of our being.

But what then, I wonder, is it that makes some people have a solid foundation and a strong and resilient nature? The answer perhaps is different for every individual. Much, of course, is traced back to infancy and early childhood experiences, and much is discussed about the home life people experienced. Many lived in a less than perfect or ideal home, and yet, so many of these same people go on and live relatively emotionally and mentally stable lives, while others, seemingly struggle constantly.

If one has grown up with good parents, a good stable home, or, if one was tossed back and forth with every whim that the adult in their lives had at the time, I am convinced of one sure thing which will bring deep roots into a persons life:

Learning to honor sacredness.

Honoring sacredness in our lives creates roots that will go deep. Those roots will stay deep and perhaps go deeper each time a strong wind comes along. Those roots will be supportive and will never disappoint because it reaches far beyond the the surface of our being.

Sacredness brings a gentle transformation of old and mundane ways of looking at life, to a creative realization of the possibilities that each event which has touched our lives can be a beautiful tapestry of possibilities working for our good. Thus, sacredness is a very tender and gentle anchor into our very soul.

Because of hurricane Ike, I have gained a literal mental picture in my mind of how it looks when a very large, seemingly strong tree has fallen because of shallow roots. May we find a place of quietness within our own hearts to ever deepen our soul into the rich and generous fertile ground of sacredness. May we find peace and strength at all times, and may we never be frightened when the winds and storms of life do come.

^{_{Photograph by K. Alan Lewis}}

In Your beauty
I see hope.
In this hope
I see humanity.
In this humanity
I see Your beauty.

In Your beauty
I find peace.
In this peace
I find comfort.
In this comfort
I find You.

In You
Is profound freedom.
In Your freedom
Is vast space.
In this space
All things become possible!

~Viola M. Jaynes

The Anchoress is having a retreat. There will be no talks of politics for an entire week. She says this:

…..the purpose of this retreat is pretty much the same purpose as any other retreat - it is the mindful and voluntary creation of time and space, into which one steps, as through a portal. Like a portal, it is meant to take you somewhere outside of the ordinary, day-to-day worries, concerns, duties, obsessions, have-to’s and compulsions. It is a reclamation of the “self” we tend to expend in too-great measure every day. In “giving up” as much of “the world” as one can reasonably do, for a limited time, we may re-order our priorities, re-discover what is really important in our real lives. Often our daily routine tends to corrupt our view, so that we begin to believe we need some things to survive - that we need to check in on the news 5 times a day, we need to answer some snarky remark in an internet forum. During this retreat time, I would urge you to resist the urge to follow your ordinary blog-reading/news-reading patterns, to step away from the computer as much as possible and consider that the time you would normally spend online might be better spent snoozing in the hammock, taking a walk, visiting a neighbor or picking up an old, discarded hobby.

Elizabeth Scalia, also known as The Anchoress, is the author of “Caring for the Dying” as well as many other articles that you can find on the internet. She is a gifted writer who is able to provoke one to really think about important issues. The Anchoress is a very passionate as well as compassionate person and her writings so very often reflect just that. If she disagrees with someone, she is able to write about it with dignity and respect and without lowering herself to the use of written vulgarities. Please do go visit her site this week as there will be many schools of thought and appreciation for those things that we deem precious and valuable in our lives. It is the spiritual path which we choose for ourselves.