Spiritual Things Matter

If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it. ~ Erma Louise Bombeck

My daughter recently said, “Mama, you seem so serious sometimes.” I chuckled at her since I have been thinking for a while now that I would like to relax this serious and stressful side that I have carried with me since childhood. I know how good laughter is for a person and how incredibly healing it is. It is wonderful how simple and truthfully children will express themselves. I cherish the innocent keenness of a child.

I also recently read where someone expressed that they feel their personality changed due to chronic stress. This person felt sensitized to suffering, but at the same time felt the need to shut it out. They even wondered about war veterans and if they had similar feelings. Moved by such a comparison, I desire for this person to be strengthened and to feel the warm comfort of God’s abiding love, wisdom and peace.

Stress comes in different forms and in different ways for people. What might be stressful for one person does not even faze another. What seems to be painful for one might only feel like a small discomfort for others. Each of us is different. Depending upon our make-up and background, we learn to deal with our difficult times accordingly.

Chronic stress, however, is something different. I would have to agree with the idea that it does change our personality, and perhaps for some, it can change their moral compass. Chronic stress is something that needs to be evaluated and healed on some level in order to function as a whole person again. It takes a willingness to look at life differently and to find a deeper meaning to the suffering we experience. Suffering certainly is very real to many, and I would never want to diminish that for anyone. To do so would be cruel and very wounding in itself. However, the deeper meaning to suffering is just as real, and finding it can set a human being free to find joy and happiness in life again. Even in our deepest pains are gifts to be found that one could never have thought possible. Then, hearing oneself able to laugh again becomes the evidence that a transformation has taken place.

There have been times in my own life where I felt that I could not handle even one more stressful circumstance. I have had to make adjustments to my own belief system and my own way of evaluating what really matters in life. At times, I needed to withdraw into my own space in order to clearly hear Wisdom speak to me.

As tears come from brokenness, so it seems that laughter builds our hearts back up. It seems to heal us as the echo of our laughter is heard and felt throughout ones entire body. Laughter’s joyous sound seems to elevate the spirit and distances the noisiness of this world. Laughter can bring perspective to our difficult situations and diffuse the dreadful momentum that stress can create.

Scientist have determined that our very cell structure changes when a person is happy and feels a sense of well-being. Finding ways to laugh each day is one of the best prescriptions for wellness anyone can offer. Pretty soon, one does not have to find laughter any longer, but with diligence, our vision changes and we see beauty, joy, and happiness everywhere we go. Our faces soften into smiles and laughter bursts forth as our hearts are set free from so many heavy burdens.

I am learning more each day to not take myself so incredibly serious. I am learning more each day to allow myself the freedom to feel joy completely, to notice the happy moments completely, and to embrace life with a thankful heart. It is with gratitude and grace that many happy moments are recognized. It is also with a lighter heart that I am able to see humor in even the most serious of situations, and simply realize that all of us are doing the very best we can. We all stumble along, fall over our own feet, and certainly make many messes. It is in those messes that humor can be found, and the seriousness suddenly diminishes into compassionate acceptance . . . and, with a chuckle on our face.

Keep me away from wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.
~Kahlil Gibran

I received an unexpected gift in the mail yesterday from a very dear friend of mine in Germany. I opened it up with curiosity and found a little heart sachet, which now graces my kitchen, and a beautiful little necklace. After receiving this gift yesterday, I found myself filled with gratitude, laughter and joy. Thus, I would like to share this story:

My years in the orphanage were filled with a variety of social workers which always brought with it a different dimension to the group. There were six different groups, each having their own building and their own two social workers. Each group consisted of 15-18 boys and girls of all ages. The entire structure was closed off by a white wall. The duration of each social worker would vary. Two of the groups had social workers that stayed for years. Most however, stayed for a time and then moved on for various reasons. Our group usually had new social workers every two years.

Simone was a young woman that replaced an older, matronly lady. Her presence in our group was very welcome and needed. Her youth brought with it a vivacious and happy spirit, which was refreshing to our souls. Her sense of style awakened in us a “non-orphan mentality”. When it came time to buy new clothes, she would help pick “stylish” items out and we all began to look a little nicer. We felt so proud!

What I cherished most about Simone though, was her genuineness and authenticity towards each of us. She encouraged us to write our thoughts down on paper. She then would take the time to read them and talk with us about them. She sat and helped many of us create photo albums, which I have to this day. Often, she would embrace us with such warmth and sincerity, that for many of us it was the first time where we have been physically acknowledged in such a way. Her embraces came usually with much laughter and a light heart. Our loneliness would dissipate, even if just for a moment. Wearing her red lipstick, she would often give us a kiss on the cheek and we would not dare wash it off for days. It was a sign to us of our specialness and our value.

Activities such as hiking, biking and taking walks, took on new joy and excitement. Somehow there was more meaning now and life seemed to have changed for us. The energy in our group had transformed. She was not afraid to express her emotions fully and thus encouraged us to do the same. Her laughter was a brook of refreshment for us and, I believe, an awakening to greater hopes. Somehow we realized that the world is bigger than the confines of our orphanage.

At times, Simone’s fiance, Heiner, would come and visit. We would rough-house with him and have pillow fights as children would only do with a father. I have a photograph, where many of us were piled on top of him. How he was able to breathe, I don’t know. Being a photographer, he took many wonderful black and white pictures of us and gave them to us as gifts.

It was always sad when it came time for Simone to have some time off or go on vacation. The group simply was not the same without her. We would feel the loss of her presence immensely. Then of course, the time came when she married her fiance and left us for good. After she left, our group changed. The closeness and warmth we felt was gone. We were graced with her presence for two years. It was the best years that I had spent in the orphanage. Years that had enriched my life and added dimensions of depth and color - for which I am deeply thankful. The gift that she left behind, deep in our hearts, is a gift that I do not think she was aware of. The effects, however, were far reaching.

Over the years, I would often think of Simone. I would hear her laughter echo in my soul during times of extreme sadness and disparity. I would envision her white teeth that could only be seen when one laughs fully from the heart. The energy of her laughter would help me to look for answers and to find meaningful ways to work through my pain. This same energy would also help me to know again and again that life has many possibilities and many genuinely happy moments. It was a gift that has stayed with me to this day and indeed, it was medicine for my own saddened and down-trodden heart as I have worked to find my own path in life.

My love for this person created in me a desire to find her again. Through a mutual friend, I was able to locate her after 25 years. Arriving at the airport and seeing her for the first time, after so many years had past, was an experience that cannot be put into words. I had found a kindred spirit again. Her laughter welcomed me as her arms embraced me. I felt at home!

Simone and Heiner, who brought so much laughter and fun-filled moments into our lives, welcomed me with open arms. What a joy it was to see both of them again! After the birth of my baby girl, Simone flew to the United States to pay me and my family a visit as well. I felt deeply moved and honored by this gesture of thoughtfulness and love.

This then, is a great picture of what Simone is all about. She is not only about projecting great ideals, flowered with beautiful words, but she sets into motion passions which matter most in her life. Her realness, authenticity and love of life speak volumes of wisdom and joy to my heart. Having shared herself fully with children that were not her own, shows the warmth and kindness of her heart. The wisdom that she displayed at such a young age, as she interacted with each of us, was beyond her years. I have gained great spiritual insight through her passions and love for life. For that, I am deeply thankful!

May her laughter always pierce through the darkness, pain and suffering of others.

Viola Jaynes