Spiritual Things Matter

_{Photograph by: Ryan Eng}

At the heart of our loss is gain
Unseen, and yet eternal.
At the heart of our gain is loss
Through too much knowing.
At the heart of our joys are mysteries
That remain untold.
At the heart of our tears is wisdom
Embracing the cycles of life-
Thus, finding stillness and peace within.

~Viola M. Jaynes
Nov. 2008

Loss pierces the heart – only to notice that the arrow landed in something new.  ~Viola M. Jaynes

To live is to experience loss. Loss can bring about intense pain and suffering and unless one receives clarity of the meaning of the loss itself, it can turn into depression and sometimes even physical illness.

I think back to the summer of 1976 when I was to make a new life here in the States. I was fearful of all the new things that would await me, yet thrilled to be learning a new language, being in a new culture and gaining the closeness and warmth of a family.

However, it was not very long before I realized that those illusions were simply that – illusions. The possibilities were not there because the family I had come into was deeply troubled. It was a time for me to become stronger, a time of finding something within myself that I could trust and on which I could rely. I missed my well-established routines in the orphanage and the consistency of the social workers being available, helping with homework, sitting down to our scheduled meals and having our scheduled bedtime. I realized that the foundation of my orphanage years were solid and they built something in me that would always be a part of my life. I have often been very thankful for those early and formative years.

I sometimes contemplate the meaning of those early years in this country. The deep disappointment that I felt of losing a dream. A dream that I had created in my own mind and heart to have a close and loving family. A dream of being welcomed and supported with each new effort that was made.

I contemplate and listen to the wisdom of my own heart:

The desire of family is the unity of a Greater Reality that my heart already knew. The dreams and hopes were possibilities, unending, that could and would still be realized. The courage to step out to start a new life, was the courage I would realize again as I commit myself to a spiritual path. My hopes and dreams for warmth have been realized, in measure, as I love and cherish my own children.

Losing something that we hold close and dear to our hearts is profoundly painful. Could it be realized though, that this loss really represents a new opportunity? This is a new chance to give birth to the wonderful and creative force within, to bring into existence the beauty, the ideal, the dream of our hearts. It is within our power to do so. It will bring clarity and a realization of the strength that dwells within each of us.  It will free us into greater heights of possibilities, and a much greater awareness of who we are.

Every person must work through many things in life. It is only through searching that we are able to find meaning and answers. Apathy and anger towards the things that have played out in our lives will only bring us greater pain. Blaming others will only lend itself to a victim mentality which can never bring about any growth or any real possibilities for spiritual ascension. The basic antidote to our brokenness is humility by turning one’s life completely over to something much greater than ourselves, and trusting in Him/Her for their wisdom and their foreknowledge. I am convinced that this energy of Love never falters and its kindness is always extended to us. This is the creative force, housed within each of us, that beautifies our lives and allows us to create our finest dreams. It is this Love in which I deeply place my devotion and my trust, for without it, life for me would be without any real meaning and without any real purpose whatsoever.

At the end of our journey, I believe, we will notice that during the most painful events of our lives, we also, simultanesouly, began to live life a little more thankful, a little kinder, and a little more gentle toward ourselves, as well as others around us.  It is precisely during those moments that a sudden leap was made into a search for true meaning, if we were willing, truly willing…to be honest with our selves.

To all those who have suffered loss, – be at peace!

Let us never forget to be kind to a hurting world. Let us never forget to reach out to others in tenderness and understanding. It is amazing the healing power kindness and love can bring to the human heart. It is transforming!

A secret friend sent me this poem by poet Darrel Kincaid. You can read it in its entirety here.

“Lesson learned is not to Love less,
With Love,
lesson is, to learn to Love Grander
With Gain.”
~Darrel Kincaid

Portions of this post have been previously published

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. ~Anatole France

^{Photograph by K. Alan Lewis}

Kal, one of my cyberfriends, just lost his dear dog of nine years. Beau had prostate cancer which, when discovered, had already spread through much of his body. Kal loved his friend too much to allow him to suffer with pain any more than he already had. Therefore, he made the very painful decision to put him to sleep. Kal’s heart is hurting right now. He will miss his friend terribly. Please remember him in your thoughts and prayers. Anyone that is a pet owner knows how much a part of our lives these animals can be.

I was always so moved when Kal wrote about his four-legged child and friend on his site. It was clear just how much they meant to each other. I am glad that Beau had such a good home, such a loving parent to love him and care for him. My thoughts and love are with Kal and Beau as I dedicate this poem to them both.

Man’s Best Friend

Animals! Oh what friends -
if we want them to be;
touched by their innocence -
we are forever changed.
It is a gift indescribable,
so precious, and unforgettable
as they quietly see into our hearts
and somehow understand.

Spoken words of exchange
are impossible, they say -
between man and this lovely
wide-eyed creature.
Yet, love’s language is always present -
if we just listen…
of acceptance and devotion
they so generously give away.

A best friend,
a faithful consoler,
and a true companion -
is the presence of such a comforting
and trusted friend.
Mysteriously, such pure love is possible
between them and us -
for when tears are shed at their loss -
we grasp this truth again.

Lovingly dedicated to Alan and Beau in memory of Beau’s happy life on this earth.

~Viola Jaynes
August 19, 2008

Oh death, suddenly you come – but we fear you not.
You teach us awareness, each and every time.
You teach us humility and gratefulness.
Your presence brings new resolve into our lives -
to be kinder to all who have been entrusted to us.
To love even more deeply those who need us -
as well as those who want from us.

Oh death, you embrace us with a very cold chill -
leaving us to find warmth and comfort again.
You whisper realities into our ears that are not of this world -
that we might seek and seek,
and then finally find a deeper
and more secure place within ourselves.
Indeed, you are a part of the cycle of birth and dying -
of beginning and ending.
Yet, never the end to Light and Love -
for always it will continue on.

Let comfort come to those who are left behind.
Let light and hope illuminate the heart.
Let time bring its gentle healing kiss -
that tears may transform grief into laughter and joy again.
Let the beauty of life blossom
in each one who has loved him – whom you have taken.
Let them always remember him
and the joy and the love he so generously gave.

~Viola M. Jaynes

~Dedicated to the Memory of Barney Bolt~