Love’s Mysteries
The absolute value of love makes life worth while, and so makes man’s strange and difficult situations acceptable. Love cannot save life from death; but it can fulfill life’s purpose. ~Arnold J. Toynbee
As we celebrate love today, I contemplate what it might mean to love. Love is complex and comes with a wonderful array of emotions and expressions. What would life be like without being touched by its mystery, its pain, its joys and its tears? Being touched by love will bring a change to a human being of such profoundity that even they themselves may have difficulty understanding it.
My mind goes back to Germany, as I was packing to leave the orphanage to move to the United States. My father, an American, had found me after 14 years and I was to make a new life here in this country. As I was packing my clothes, thoughts racing through my mind wondering: would I learn the language quickly enough? Could I make new friends? Was America as great as I had always heard it was? I had fears and yet the youth in me was filled with hope and an adventurous spirit, willing to step out into the unknown.
My thoughts were interrupted as I heard the children calling my name, telling me that I had a visitor. I thought it strange since I usually never had visitors. As I walked downstairs, I saw a teacher standing there that I had in 3rd through 6th grade. I was surprised as she greeted me with a warm and familiar smile. This was a teacher that I had dearly loved but I kept it a secret in my heart. I felt embarrassed about it since she was obviously just my teacher. However, deep in my heart, I had somehow discerned her feelings towards me. Would I dare to think it was love? One of my favorite things she used to do in class was put her hand around the back of my neck when I was being mischievous. She did that with such tenderness and it revealed her heart to me. Perhaps, being mischievous came easier because of that. She had heard from the kids in school that I was leaving for America and so she came to say goodbye.
In her hand she held a small gift with a letter. As she handed it to me, she embraced me and wished me well. I was speechless and my face had turned red. Our last goodbye was quick and then I went back upstairs to read my letter. The letter revealed to me what I had known in my heart for four years. All I could do is weep. I opened my gift carefully and thoughtfully and was moved as I saw it. It was a tiny, gold, four leaf clover pendant. I cherished it for years before it somehow was lost. I would read that letter time and again during my early years in this country. I would weep over it with a broken heart, as I longed to be freed from so much pain. After time, I could no longer unfold it since my very tears had crumbled it under my hands.
This love came with a bittersweet price. Our love for each other has been tried on only a few occasions - but, to its very depth. It was never meant to be a mother-daughter relationship even though both of us had wanted that. As we both have grown in this mystical relationship, we cherish each other to this day.
I have been awakened by love a number of times in my life. Each time, it came with an enormous amount of intensity and expression of my own soul. When love comes, it will bring with it an imagination and creativity which causes us to be able to do that which we never have thought was possible. It allows our eyes to see beauty, I believe, in its purest form. Some say - it is not reality, - but in my heart, I believe it is that brushing of the shoulders with love which brings about such beauty in the arts. Its expressions are the windows to the soul’s yearning to become one with yet a greater power and a greater purpose. Its spiritual implications are astounding.
Love asks many things of us. Its demands are not easy and often bring with it much pain. It broadens us in every area of our lives. Its well is deep. When we work through the pain and mysteries of our own loves, mysteries of the heart and soul are revealed. We somehow understand that life is not just a life on this earth, but truly a spiritual experience. We come to know, even if just in part, what the mysteries and the possibilities are, that lay in love. It will take us to the heights and depths of our very soul, as nothing in this life time will. Oh, how wonderful it is to be able to love!
Though its pangs are strong and fierce, let us never fear to love again and again, until we melt into its very essence.
Viola Jaynes
