Spiritual Things Matter

Loss pierces the heart – only to notice that the arrow landed in something new.  ~Viola M. Jaynes

To live is to experience loss. Loss can bring about intense pain and suffering and unless one receives clarity of the meaning of the loss itself, it can turn into depression and sometimes even physical illness.

I think back to the summer of 1976 when I was to make a new life here in the States. I was fearful of all the new things that would await me, yet thrilled to be learning a new language, being in a new culture and gaining the closeness and warmth of a family.

However, it was not very long before I realized that those illusions were simply that – illusions. The possibilities were not there because the family I had come into was deeply troubled. It was a time for me to become stronger, a time of finding something within myself that I could trust and on which I could rely. I missed my well-established routines in the orphanage and the consistency of the social workers being available, helping with homework, sitting down to our scheduled meals and having our scheduled bedtime. I realized that the foundation of my orphanage years were solid and they built something in me that would always be a part of my life. I have often been very thankful for those early and formative years.

I sometimes contemplate the meaning of those early years in this country. The deep disappointment that I felt of losing a dream. A dream that I had created in my own mind and heart to have a close and loving family. A dream of being welcomed and supported with each new effort that was made.

I contemplate and listen to the wisdom of my own heart:

The desire of family is the unity of a Greater Reality that my heart already knew. The dreams and hopes were possibilities, unending, that could and would still be realized. The courage to step out to start a new life, was the courage I would realize again as I commit myself to a spiritual path. My hopes and dreams for warmth have been realized, in measure, as I love and cherish my own children.

Losing something that we hold close and dear to our hearts is profoundly painful. Could it be realized though, that this loss really represents a new opportunity? This is a new chance to give birth to the wonderful and creative force within, to bring into existence the beauty, the ideal, the dream of our hearts. It is within our power to do so. It will bring clarity and a realization of the strength that dwells within each of us.  It will free us into greater heights of possibilities, and a much greater awareness of who we are.

Every person must work through many things in life. It is only through searching that we are able to find meaning and answers. Apathy and anger towards the things that have played out in our lives will only bring us greater pain. Blaming others will only lend itself to a victim mentality which can never bring about any growth or any real possibilities for spiritual ascension. The basic antidote to our brokenness is humility by turning one’s life completely over to something much greater than ourselves, and trusting in Him/Her for their wisdom and their foreknowledge. I am convinced that this energy of Love never falters and its kindness is always extended to us. This is the creative force, housed within each of us, that beautifies our lives and allows us to create our finest dreams. It is this Love in which I deeply place my devotion and my trust, for without it, life for me would be without any real meaning and without any real purpose whatsoever.

At the end of our journey, I believe, we will notice that during the most painful events of our lives, we also, simultanesouly, began to live life a little more thankful, a little kinder, and a little more gentle toward ourselves, as well as others around us.  It is precisely during those moments that a sudden leap was made into a search for true meaning, if we were willing, truly willing…to be honest with our selves.

To all those who have suffered loss, – be at peace!

Let us never forget to be kind to a hurting world. Let us never forget to reach out to others in tenderness and understanding. It is amazing the healing power kindness and love can bring to the human heart. It is transforming!

A secret friend sent me this poem by poet Darrel Kincaid. You can read it in its entirety here.

“Lesson learned is not to Love less,
With Love,
lesson is, to learn to Love Grander
With Gain.”
~Darrel Kincaid

Portions of this post have been previously published

I believe in America because we have great dreams and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true. ~Wendell L. Wilkie

In 1976, during the warm summer month of August, my father, an American, found me in an orphanage and flew to Germany to bring me back to the United States. A few months prior to his arrival, I and the other children in the orphanage, were informed of this news. I became the most popular girl for the remainder of the time there when the other children learned that I was really moving to America. It was such a proud moment for me when I realized that I was to finally have my own family, and furthermore, that I was coming to live in such a great country.

I love America! After moving here from Germany at 14, and then out of my father’s house at almost 20 years old, I began to realize just how versatile and flexible of a life I could lead here in America. I found the freedom of choice which became a practical and integral part of my life. I found freedom to worship God and the freedom to study spiritual things which would eventually become a tool of healing for my life.

I am proud to be called an American as I think back of the patriotism that was displayed after 9/11. It was inspiring, and I realized that its energy came from a different source than the nationalism that Germany displayed during WWII. The courage to be visionaries that is seen in so many Americans is founded on deep abiding principles explained in the phrase, “liberty and justice for all.” Americans will bind together as one during times of tragedies as well as in times of victory.

I love the generosity this country displays during times of need, even to her enemies. I have stood in amazement as I have observed people give, for example, after the Katrina hurricane disaster. People of all socio-economic levels opened their pocket books as well as their homes. I stand in amazement as I watch the American people display resilience as they always find a way to re-build their lives again and again, no matter what difficult circumstances may come their way. What an inspiration! What a gift!

I love America because no one will place restrictions as to the level of educational opportunities one wants to obtain. Through sheer determination and hard work, any goals can be attained. Wealth on every level in America can be realized through hard work and wise decisions made. Opportunities are there to be seized.

Americans have large hearts. Friends in Germany expressed once that they enjoy visiting this great land of ours because the people “seem so friendly.” I would have to agree with that as our motto still remains that “the customer is always right.” Americans are happy, loving and giving people, always finding a way to look at the positive, to work hard and to continually strive to become better in every way. Solutions are sought for the more difficult dilemmas of poverty and ignorance because America desires equality for all of her people. Wisdom is sought to protect our land and to protect those who are weaker than ourselves.

With all the pain that came along with making the transition from another country, learning a new language, and trusting a new people, I have found myself. I am free, I am proud, and I am an American!

Update: I was invited by Houston NPR to read my essay on the radio. You may click here to listen to it, if you like.

Happy 4th of July!

*This essay has been previously posted