Spiritual Things Matter

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~ John Taylor

Yesterday, we had a death in our family. It was something that happened so fast that everyone is still in a state of shock and bewilderment. It is one of those events where people are wondering about the fairness of life. The sorrow and pain is felt deeply.

My husband’s aunt, a lovely lady, re-married a year ago to a man she had attended high school with, but didn’t know him well until she attended a more recent high school reunion. She was previously married and had two children in this marriage who adore her, but had been divorced for a long time. She worked herself through college and had become a teacher of Texas History and Special Education over the years in a local public school. She is wonderful with young people and has loved her job. At the end of this school year, she was looking forward to retirement with her new bridegroom having planned and dreamed to spend their remaining wonderful years together.

Her new husband had lost his wife about four years ago to cancer. They had three daughters together between 18 - 24 years of age. The family was very close, their marriage was strong, and the children flourished. The loss of their mother was very hard on them. Other family members, friends, and neighbors stepped in to help. They had also lost their grandmother last year, with whom they were all very close.

I remember the first time my husband’s aunt called me and told me that she had found this wonderful man. I could tell in her voice how happy she was, and I was so thrilled for her because I knew that she had not had an easy life. There is something so profoundly comforting when you meet someone that loves you and understands you for who and what you are. A man with whom you can share your life with.

Last month in April, the health problems began. Evidently, he had an abnormal heart beat for a long time, but it had never caused serious problems. Over the last Christmas vacation, the entire family went skiing, and I was told he had some problems getting his breath. Beginning in April, he was in an out of the hospital for testing. It began to look more serious than what anyone had expected. This past week, he had a “code blue” four times. Finally, the doctor and nurse began to cry as they could not bring him back during the last code blue. They felt so helpless because his heart simply wanted to stop.

Entering into the ICU unit, I found family and friends holding each other and crying. His three daughters were in a state of shock, and my husband’s aunt and children were wounded and broken by the death of her new husband. What I heard the loudest was how wonderful it was that those two had found each other, and “how was it possible that life could bring such a sudden death.” They were in the process of building a new home together and making plans for a wonderful retirement. It did not seem fair.

The other thing that was in the forefront of everyone’s mind was the three girls that were now left without their mother, father, and grandmother. How was it possible that these young girls would lose both their parents in a matter of four years? This also seemed so incredibly unbelievable and unfair.

As I looked at this man lying lifeless in that hospital bed, I realized just how large the spirit infills a human vessel. He seemed so frail and small without the spirit of life in him. I realized that the energy and life that makes us who we are on this earth is simply too great to be housed in a small body for too long. Our body is given as a gift to us to learn lessons in this lifetime, after which it is shed to once again return from where it came.

Embracing Death

Oh death, suddenly you come - but we fear you not.
You teach us awareness, each and every time.
You teach us humility and gratefulness.
Your presence brings new resolve into our lives -
to be kinder to all who have been entrusted to us.
To love even more deeply those who need us -
as well as those who want from us.

Oh death, you embrace us with a very cold chill -
leaving us to find warmth and comfort again.
You whisper realities into our ears that are not of this world -
that we might seek and seek,
and then finally find a deeper
and more secure place within ourselves.
Indeed, you are a part of the cycle of birth and dying -
of beginning and ending.
Yet, never the end to Light and Love -
for always it will continue on.

Let comfort come to those who are left behind.
Let light and hope illuminate the heart.
Let time bring its gentle healing kiss -
that tears may transform grief into laughter and joy again.
Let the beauty of life blossom
in each one who has loved him - whom you have taken.
Let them always remember him
and the joy and the love he so generously gave.

. . . Dedicated to the Memory of Barney Bolt . . .

Viola M. Jaynes
May 2008

This Mother’s Day, the one person that comes to mind who has inspired me to become an even better mother is, Elisabeth Fritzl. This courageous Austrian woman has astonished so many of us with her efforts to give her children some sense of normalcy in an incredible abnormal environment. Her mother’s heart gave and kept on giving, although she only received profound sorrow and pain which lasted nearly a quarter of a century. The decorations in her tiny cellar moved me to tears as it shows so clearly that she remembered the stars and the moon which once represented her freedom. She shared that with her children, as was obvious, when her youngest child pointed to the moon and asked if God lived there. Her brokenness is severe and deep. May we wrap her and her children into our hearts and remember them in our prayers…even long after this story is no longer in the forefront.

Dear Brave Soul, Happy Mother’s Day!

Slowly emerging from all that was dark
into the light - which seems so painfully bright.
Slowly, very slowly, each step must be taken -
into freedom…..as senses are overwhelmed
by the generosity of life.

Love and life will embrace you soundly
Goodness and kindness are there to lift you up.
You are a part of our life!
You are a part of our world!
Welcoming you openly -
for love will embrace you all around.

Life with all its complexities
with all its painful sorrows and tears,
cannot be explained with our,
so very limited eyes of understanding -
for only one piece of the puzzle we see.

Yet, life remains a wondrous gift to be lived
with so much love and mysteries yet to be had.
We welcome you with all our hearts!
Embracing you with so much love!
And, with many, many tender thoughts that, now at last,
peace for you and your children will flourish -
forever…holding you securely - far above.

Thank you, oh, brave and fragile soul,
for loving your children - despite it all.
Thank you for teaching them with the little that you had.
Thank you for your astounding bravery and courage.
And thank you, oh, dear tender soul,
for having truly done your very, very best!

May the sun shine tenderly on you -
May her warmth bring healing comfort to your broken heart.
May the wind whisper his eternal truths into your ears
And may you sense his abiding strength as well as his tender mercies.
May the rain fall extra gently upon your brow.
And may each tender droplet bring new rhythm to your thoughts.
May your tears flow freely that you might feel again and begin to heal.
May life bring its beauty to you -
With generosity and with grace.
May it envelope you with new truth and new hope -
That you may find your own beauty which abides richly in you.
And, may Love embrace you and your children -
As our world cradles you firmly and tenderly in her prayers.

Happy Mother’s Day, our very dear Elisabeth!

Viola M. Jaynes
Mother’s Day 2008

In bowing, I enter into an invisible world,
a place which I call my truest home.
Here I encounter secret memories
of connections and love…
my human mind could not have known.
It is a kinship in a vast place,
the “Unknown.”
There, I whisper gentle prayers
on sacred grounds alone.

To enter this invisible world -
I am pulled with deep longing for Love -
infusing it with a pounding throb of hope.
My deeply wounded mortality lay bare -
as my truest yearnings comes to light.
In this secret, holy place,
my wounds begin to heal…
for it is here that my soul
receives a tender kiss of the Divine.

~Viola M. Jaynes
April 2008

Love is the subtlest force in the world. ~Mahatma Gandhi

This time of the year is especially contemplative as many will honor Easter. Our churches will be filled with worshipers as they sing their beautiful songs and hymns in perhaps even greater conviction and love they have for God. I too lose myself in beautiful and worshipful hymns and songs as they can touch my deepest parts as nothing else can.

There is something beautiful and gentle about using your voice to sing. Singing with a group of people brings an experience of connectedness and love that I find deeply comforting. When we unite our voices in worship and prayer, we are reminded that each of us is giving, as well as gaining, strength and courage to continue on the path that we have chosen. As we look around, we see many who suffer and many suffer silently for fear that no one would understand. Yet, they continue to worship God because they are deeply convicted that there is strength in His Divine love. I bow in honor to all those who recognize this love.

My heart is pulled towards those who have found many of our churches to be empty of love. Though many words are spoken from our pulpits, it seems that so often the true meaning behind those words are gone. Unfortunately, there are many who feel that our churches have turned into nothing but large social places in which to meet friends and acquaintances in the hopes of perhaps filling some emptiness in their lives. I wonder, though - have we forgotten forgiveness? Where is love and mercy? What happened to sharing peace with our fellow man? It often seems that although the hallways of our churches are full, no one really sees the other. It often seems that each keeps to his own, perhaps out of fear that too much will be asked of them? The longing for genuine community and unconditional love is, I believe, the cry of so many. Yet, many fear to unveil and become authentic. As an alternative, people become islands unto themselves.

Practically everywhere we go, we can see a church on every corner, yet many will never enter them. I think of those who make their homes under our bridges and on our highways. There are many lonely people who live in shelters who have no money with which to purchase their next meal. I think of the children who have been removed from their homes because there was no love to give them, and only anger and hate was their lot. My thoughts go to the many elderly and ill people who were placed in homes and whose loved ones live too far away to even come for a visit. We have our hospitals where lives hang in the balance, and one never knows from one day to the next whether or not they will survive. Thoughts go to our military men and women who bravely offer their service, and even their lives, so that we all might have peace on our soil. May we offer our prayers with love, for their safety, and also for their families who know so many anxious moments, until their loved ones return once again, safely, into their tight embrace.

This Easter, I bow and ask that God will bring our hearts closer to Him. My longing is - that He may teach us how to pray and how to love one another in greater depth and meaning. I pray for His mercy and His peace, and I ask that we would never partake of violence and hate. May our eyes see that through His death, burial and resurrection, His work has been done and it is finished. May our ears hear that mercy, peace, compassion and love - are all that is left. May our hearts understand and embrace this truth - for it is only love that will bring healing and peace to this earth.

I pray that we may all recognize His beauty and through it, be changed into loving, compassionate, and kind human beings.

I wish each of my dear readers a blessed and wonderful Easter!