Spiritual Things Matter

Sandy Carlson is a blogger friend that often visits my site. I have admired her work as well as her artistic abilities in writing, poetry, graffiti, photography, and making slides. You may visit her site here. She is not only a gifted individual but she also has a very gentle and kind spirit. I appreciate her very much and I wanted to post this essay she wrote. Well done, Sandy!

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. (Vincent Van Gogh)

Acceptance and rejection are two sides of a coin that must be invested and reinvested in the creative process. They are insights, holes in the walls that isolate us from the world around us and let in the light of understanding.

It can take time to assimilate both acceptance and rejection and avoid the pitfall of becoming complacent in response to the former and inactive in response to the latter. This can be difficult because artists are vulnerable at every turn in the creative process. They have expressed whatever is true and real in themselves in the truest, most real way possible, and they await a response. Will you stop and look? Give it a thought? Do you get it? Do you care?

On Sunday, I attended a forum on acceptance and rejection at Wisdom House. There, a panel of five artists–sculptor Joy Brown, poet Davyne Verstandig, visual artist and writer Florin Firimita, actress Cady McClain, and music director Tim Stella discussed the place of acceptance and rejection in their lives. Two reflections struck a chord with me.

One came from Florin Firimita. He talked about an experience about 18 years ago, shortly after he had emigrated from Romania to the US via Italy. He had been sitting for five hours with a gallery owner who had seen his work. At the end of the conversation, the gallery owner told him he wouldn’t show Firimita’s work–flowers and landscapes–because it was, he said, wall paper. He told the young artist he didn’t believe his body of work reflected who he was. Firimita spent a year thinking about what this provocative statement could mean. Ultimately, he discovered the gallery owner was right, and he changed his direction as an artist. His florals and landscapes gave way to psychological landscapes that explore the universal themes of identity, love, death, loss, reality, dreams and memories.

The other came from sculptor Joy Brown. She talked about her time in Japan as an apprentice sculptor. She had thrown countless sake cups, but not a one pleased her teacher. So off they went to the dump. The student had more to offer, and the teacher was not willing to settle before she realized it for herself. Accepting that meant accepting a broader horizon full of possibilities. She discovered later, though, that the man who had managed the dump had rescued her little cups from the rubbish and displayed them around his hut. They pleased him; he found them beautiful. These cups were works of art for him though they were merely a step in a broader creative process for Brown.

I’ve known acceptance and rejection. They feel the same to me. I prefer that moment when I am creating and nobody is around and the voice inside says “yes.” I don’t always here it, and it doesn’t last long; it doesn’t have to. The “yes” is the air in the cushion that protects me from the pain of rejection and even the painful challenge of acceptance. The “yes” tells me what I have done is true and good right now. And it asks, “Will you come with me, please?”

No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the Kingdom of night. ~ Elie Wiesel

Gratitude is an amazing gift that we can and should utilize often. Gratitude adjusts our vision and it adjusts our purpose and desires in life. Gratitude brings a lift to a downtrodden spirit as one feels encouraged by the mere fact that one can indeed be thankful for something.

I have a note book sitting in the middle of our kitchen table and have numbered the lines from 1 to 1000, after which I simply put “and more.” I strive to teach my children that we have so much and I encourage them to write in this notebook the things for which they are thankful for. I don’t insist on a daily entry but I will gently remind them after a number of days have gone by, to think about the things they appreciate in their lives. It is amazing just how effective this has been. I often write in it myself because I value the importance of this principle.

Gratitude of heart is a wonderful habit to develop. We in America and the Western world in general, live in such a prosperous country that even those who are considered poor among us still have an abundance in comparison to so many people around our globe who are truly considered poor. Elbert Hubbard once said: “I would rather be able to appreciate things I can not have than have things I am not able to appreciate.” I notice in my children that they often seem to appreciate a thing more while they desire and wish for it - yet, once it is owned, it is all too easy to simply take it for granted and even neglect it much of the time.

As we go through the “night seasons” in our lives, it is good to remember our blessings and to whisper a loving and thoughtful “thank you.” “Gratitude is the heart’s memory,” a French proverb tells us so beautifully. I find this to be so true and so meaningful because when we are truly grateful for someone or something, it has become part of us, it has become part of our very heart.

Of course, one is thankful for the home they live in, good vehicles to drive, and plenty of nutritious food to eat. Certainly one is thankful for jobs and financial gain in order to make a more comfortable life. But when I think of gratitude, other things come to mind as well:

I think of a sound mind and good health. I think of meaningful friendships and the laughter of our children. I think of husbands and wives who love and support each other no matter what their circumstances. I think of siblings who have known one another all their lives and the support and strength that relationship can bring. I think of parents and grandparents who have often sacrificed much in order to bring their children stability in this life. I think of integrity and honesty of character, which brings enormous personal power into ones life. It then aids us in making our choices in this life.

I think of the freedom we have to choose any belief system we desire and the freedom we have to worship God precisely as we see fit, openly with out fear of reprisal of any kind. I think of the gift we have to reach out in love in order to bring some healing to others. Yes, I even think of pain and losses as I realize that it shapes humans into who they are, and can often give us the grace needed of seeking higher meaning and a greater purpose in life.

Most of all, I think about our hunger for God Himself. A force that is so powerful and so strong that the mystery of Him who created us brings us into realms of possibilities never before imagined. It is in devotion to Him that He gives us glimpses of all that can be. In our gratitude for His beauty and for life itself, all fear seems to be dispelled and the abundance of possibilities emerges within us.

Gratitude, oh what a gift!

Man’s loneliness is but his fear of life. ~ Eugene O’ Neil

Not too long ago, I read an article written by a man that expressed how he viewed the interactions of people. At the end, he concluded that every person cares only for himself or herself. The writer went on to say that no one really cares about anyone else except for a choice few who are directly related to the person such as a mother, father, or a spouse. I thought about that article for a long time. As I pondered, I realized both truths and limitations in it.

Joseph Fort Newton states, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” The fear of not being enough, the fear of doubting ones own substantial existence on this earth, the fear of feeling that the universe itself is not safe and we must guard and protect ourselves from those who would take from us, or from those who want to hurt us - are all reasons why we build walls around ourselves.

We fear the interactions of others due to our own feelings of inadequacy in intellectual discourse, in personal confidence and strength, or in our appearance. As we look closer at these fears, it is realized that the root of all these is simply fear of rejection. Human beings fear rejection above all. It is at the root of so many dilemmas that we deal with both as individuals and as nations.

Yet, as I think of people who reach outside of themselves, I realize that this cynical viewpoint is certainly only one view point- real to many, but not to all.

I’ve written in previous articles on this blog that Fraule, the elderly lady that used to visit us in the orphanage, reached out to my brother and I. The young couple who lived upstairs and who took the place of Fraule once she passed away also reached out to us. Simone, the young social worker who embraced us with such warmth and sincerity, reached out to us children in the orphanage as well. The many wonderful people who gave to a woman who deceived many into believing that she had cancer for two years and was on her “death-bed” for the past six-months - they all reached out to her.

These are all people who gave to someone outside of their own circle. They allowed themselves to build bridges in order to touch another life. The effects are far reaching! Each of us can think of people who will, time and again, display their own convictions that in this world, it is a risk to reach out in love, but it is a risk worth taking.

I can’t help but think of the men and women who are willing to give their very lives to protect and save other human lives - even though the reward is often small or ignored. I can’t help but think when catastrophe takes place, men and women who normally live quiet and unassuming lives step forth and take an active role to give and heal in whatever way they can. I can’t help but notice that most people have a good heart and are willing to give when there is a call to do so.

I am a dreamer! I dream and wish for a day when all men and women lay aside their own own fears. I dream and wish that they would find new freedom of expression and joy. I dream and wish that the fear of rejection will be exposed once and for all, and people everywhere will realize that “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”(FDR) For how, I ask, can the One who is Whole reject one who is already accepted and created whole? I dream and wish for greater awareness that the presence of each one individual is part of the synchronicity of this universe, and they were meant to be an important part of our universe. I dream and wish that there will be no more loneliness in the hearts of men because love has dispelled this falsity.

I dream and wish for a day that more God Awareness leads to more Self Awareness. Then, the door will open to expand and do what seemed to be unattainable before. This potential lies in our path if only we would dare to lay aside fear and doubt and take hold of divine love - the love that makes all things possible. This love is able to tear the veil of a limited and confined way of thinking, and into the realm of endless creativity, ingenuity, and sacrifice for one another.

All loneliness is dispelled when there is a reason to be. The reasons, my friends, are too numerous to count.

Oh God, “I believe, help thou my unbelief.”

I feel the deep workings of Your hands,
Your energy is strong.
Bring healing to these broken bones,
To this broken heart that longs.

There is no one that can do this work -
Only You my God alone.
May You heal me now, I’m asking You
Bring wholeness, tender Being, for whom I long.

It’s possible, I know it is -
I feel Your holy breath.
Don’t let go now - please
But finish with the rest.

But wait; there is a higher purpose,
I’ve known it for some time,
for my heart beats with a rhythm
that only comes from You, Divine.

It’s not the rhythm of this world,
That resonates with me so loud.
This song, this rhythmic, beautiful song, is You,
Calling me somehow.

Oh my God, my dear Divine,
Draw me close to You.
Heal today this broken life,
Make me whole - I long for you!

It’s you - my Purpose and my Life,
You’re the One - my Meaning and my Hope.
Tenderly I embrace you now,
As my tears begin to flow.

You’re the light that radiates Your Love,
I feel it, oh so strong.
Let me take a closer look within
And transform me as I stand in awe.

Your Love and Peace penetrates,
As I give it all to You.
Let healing, love, and tenderness now flow from me,
With insight and with truth.

Viola Jaynes
2006