Spiritual Things Matter

To weep is to make less the depth of grief. ~William Shakespeare

The land of tears is a mysterious place as each shy tear droplet expresses the beauty of its pain or joy. Tears cleanse our souls and powerfully release the pressure we feel in our daily lives. Tears help us focus our vision and our purpose. It gives us the ability to hear and feel our heart again.

Tears need to be shed as they help the body and soul to cleanse many toxins of bitterness and anger, and of disappointments and shame. Tears help our other organs to stay free of dis-ease and sickness, for if we cannot weep, the body will begin weeping itself. The saltiness of our tears helps to remind us of its cleansing power. Life’s humbling agent has bent us only to discover that our tears have brought new strength again.

I think of those that weep for their marriage wondering if relief will ever come to their private and lonely pain, and longing and praying for oneness and togetherness in its truest form. At the same time, however, they perhaps realize that the shaping of their own character is the forming of a carefully created art piece, and the searching for lasting answers is but a deeper search into their own soul. Love that desires to mature will shed many tears as the changes of life bring new dimensions of truth.

I think of the many parents that weep over their children as they continually search for ways to instill in them an understanding of what is right and what is wrong – making many of their own mistakes in this difficult process of parenting. Many will soak their pillows as they experience their child growing and finding greater independence, often pushing away parental guidance. The fear of loss and control brings many to bitter tears. Yet, perhaps a realization and a finding of their deeper selves will bring thanksgiving into their hearts, and the understanding that our children are never truly ours, but have been given into our care – for only a short season.

My musings take me to lovers. Tears express the language of love, which brings such joy and pain to so many. Innumerable tears will be shed as they learn that the other can never be possessed and that the value of separateness will bring value to their togetherness. Love must always be willing to give as much space as the other requires, for it is in this space that a realization of the gift given draws one back into the circle of togetherness. It is there that a new dance of love can begin again.

It seems to me that those with greater awareness and understanding will weep many tears. For they have been given the gift of greater responsibility. Only with diligence and commitment to yet a deeper and higher purpose will they understand that the solving of human dilemmas can never come from their limited resources, wit, and cleverness. Wisdom cries out – for its effect is far beyond human intellect. It is available to all those who seek it. May their humility give them even greater insight to assit men and women, and boys and girls every where.

With a grieving heart I am ever so aware that as war prevails in our world due to the pride of men, many tears are shed for the loss of precious and innocent lives. The pain of such a loss goes deep, and only the healing balm of God’s grace can mend such broken hearts. Too many children suffer the injustices brought on by a failing system and by failing adults. Those who survive the deep wounds of war are left with a mind tortured by memories too dark and painful to bring to the forefront. And it is precisely then that true healers are needed – those who understand how to till the ground which has hardened during the driest of times; those who have the keenest understanding of how to teach that soul to let go and to let tears flow freely once again. I pray for the peace that this world so desperately needs.

I ponder about the many elderly who have been forgotten and are alone. Their tears flow with many regrets wondering if they could have lived life differently. At the same time, others will shed tears of joy as they see the fruit of their own diligent labor and prayers flourish and thrive. They will not fear death, but will await it with wonderment and thanksgiving.

I know that the downtrodden and lonely hearts cry tears of their own perceived inadequacies. Too often they wonder what it is that they could ever offer this world. Yet, it is in these humble souls that the purity of prayer is heard and answered. Their silent strength is a great gift to this world.

Oh how utterly aware I am that we all will shed many tears due to our frailties, our weaknesses, and our lack of courage. May we find the strength to forgive ourselves. These tears will teach us empathy and forgiveness as we become sensitive in knowing that each person carries a burden. This understanding is the path to forgive others. It is in this continued searching for greater wisdom, courage, and strength that life can be well lived. Our own courage will be realized as we express our regrets to those we have injured. It may be the most healing and meaningful gift we could ever offer – not only to ourselves but also to the other. I pray that we may never fear to be transparent for it is in our tears of honesty, new strength in truth is found.

At the end of this life, it will not have mattered what my profession was and how many wonderful things I have accomplished on this earth. Who I was will have mattered -for it will have left a lasting affect.

Tears are truly a gift – a wonderful gift to ourselves.

Ten thousand possibilities
To climb the mountain’s height
Formidable and majestic
It stands before my sight.
Strong and equipped I feel,
To wander – day and night if I must,
Finding just the right way
No matter how difficult the path.

I wander, and wander,
Then stumble alone,
Alas the veil of darkness and silence
Has brought me to a state
From which I cannot escape;
Fear and panic, I realize,
Have now become my guides.

Completely alone in the dark -
I feel frightened after all;
Unsure of my way,
For not another soul is here
To rescue me.
It is this utter aloneness
That frightens me the most
Abandoned by all, it seems,
Even by the one who has created me.

Slumped over with exhaustion
I cry out for help
Seeking answers – any answers,
To guide me out of this circumstance.

With the peace and release
Of my own prayers and tears,
I come to understand
A greater power, given freely,
Lies within me -
To decide anew and then create,
A fresh and far better way
To climb that mountain along my way.

~Viola Jaynes

Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Disappointment often lowers our unseen posture. We feel heavier and a sense of sadness that something we had relied upon, something we had trusted in, or someone we needed, did not come through for us. Perhaps we even feel embarrassed that we were so foolishly relying on something or someone that simply was not what we had expected.

I find that even looking at this word “disappointment” is interesting.  I get the sense of having had an appointment with ourself and the “dis” reveals that we relied upon an outside source which moved us away from relying more fully on our own intuitions and sense of discernment.   Sure, we must rely on the outside world for many things, but my musing takes me to a few questions that perhaps we should answer for ourselves:  “Where do our expectations lie?  Are they from within or from without?  And, why are those expectations there to begin with?

Elliott Larson said, “Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” When I am really honest with myself and take the time to look a little deeper into my own heart, I generally find that when I am short tempered or feeling particularly angry, the root of that so often seems to be that I am carrying a feeling of disappointment with me which has somehow injured me.

Our expectations of others are often so colored by our own unmet needs.  Yes, perhaps that certain someone could have been a little kinder and more gracious, a little more giving of themselves, a little wiser in their dealings, or a little more mature in the way they chose to handle a situation.  However, it would be a good lesson learned to understand that each person struggles with their own insecurities and with their own fears.  Even the strongest among us, the brightest and the most talented, tend to struggle immensely with things which we cannot see.  It is a commonality of us all.

Disappointment tends to diminish greatly when we live in the present moment and we rely on the eternal world within us. I love what Kalidasa said:

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty,
For Yesterday is but a Dream.
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

~Kalidasa

May we carve a tunnel of hope through our dark disappointments.  May we find healing in the wisdom that lies within each of us.  May we be gentle with ourselves as we learn life’s lessons and then use them for our own growth.  And, may we give that which came to us as a lesson, to another, as a gift.

Sacredness brings a gentle transformation as our roots go ever deeper into its rich and fertile soil. ~Viola M. Jaynes

Hurricane Ike left a great path of destruction. One of the things that I have found so astounding are the huge trees that have been pulled out of the ground by their entire root-system. To my amazement many of those trees only had about a five to seven inch root system supporting an entire tree. As I inquired about this, I was told that the roots do not go past the clay and therefore, the roots expand outward but do not go deep. I was utterly amazed that these huge trees we have in our town here are really only supported by very shallow roots.

Of course, my readers know me well by now. How could I not immediately see a parallel into our own lives with a lesson given to us so generously by nature. I think of a long ago friend who told me once that he has always had his way in life. Everything he has ever wanted, no matter what it was, seemed to fall right in line with his desires. Yet, this same person struggled immensely with dealing with everyday life. The smallest troubles that came his way seem to collapse him into a state of total helplessness. Alcohol seemed to give him some relief, and his many visits to his psychiatrist seemed to only prop him up temporarily.

Another person once told me that she lived in a home that was much like the TV series ,”Leave it to Beaver.” In her description, her childhood was perfect. This same young woman also told me that she felt it was this perfect environment that has brought her the most challenges trying to function as an adult. I was puzzled over her story and pondered over it for sometime.

I do not necessarily believe that people must suffer in order for them to become a strong human being, although, suffering does tend to burn away the harder outer crust of our hearts, which allows a gift of compassion to surface as suffering has pierced deeply into the essence of our being.

But what then, I wonder, is it that makes some people have a solid foundation and a strong and resilient nature? The answer perhaps is different for every individual. Much, of course, is traced back to infancy and early childhood experiences, and much is discussed about the home life people experienced. Many lived in a less than perfect or ideal home, and yet, so many of these same people go on and live relatively emotionally and mentally stable lives, while others, seemingly struggle constantly.

If one has grown up with good parents, a good stable home, or, if one was tossed back and forth with every whim that the adult in their lives had at the time, I am convinced of one sure thing which will bring deep roots into a persons life:

Learning to honor sacredness.

Honoring sacredness in our lives creates roots that will go deep. Those roots will stay deep and perhaps go deeper each time a strong wind comes along. Those roots will be supportive and will never disappoint because it reaches far beyond the the surface of our being.

Sacredness brings a gentle transformation of old and mundane ways of looking at life, to a creative realization of the possibilities that each event which has touched our lives can be a beautiful tapestry of possibilities working for our good. Thus, sacredness is a very tender and gentle anchor into our very soul.

Because of hurricane Ike, I have gained a literal mental picture in my mind of how it looks when a very large, seemingly strong tree has fallen because of shallow roots. May we find a place of quietness within our own hearts to ever deepen our soul into the rich and generous fertile ground of sacredness. May we find peace and strength at all times, and may we never be frightened when the winds and storms of life do come.