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October 14th 2009

The Courage to Discover Self

Study the heart and the mind of man, and begin with your own. Meditation and reflection must lay the foundation of that knowledge, but experience and practice must, and alone can, complete it. ~Lord Chesterfield

The older I become, the more I realize what is meant when I hear people say that youth is wasted on the young.  So much energy is put into finding ones way in life, creating careers by polishing ourselves through a good education, or specializing in some deed, and than promoting ourselves at every turn.  Although it is very necessary for all these steps to be taken to live a relatively happy and successful life, especially for young people, necessary indeed to have goals in life and pursue them with vigor and relative success,  I can’t help but wonder, how much true self-understanding is developed during this process.  Perhaps it is an unfolding of knowledge into wisdom by those who go past this stage, by those who choose to seek greater meaning and real honesty for their existence.  Chronological age has little to do with this decision.

Some who have been tremendously successful in their careers and have gained unprecedented financial freedom have also given us some honest insight into their lives.  While they have found rewards in the material world, they often find themselves lacking joy and happiness,  or, even lacking a true connection to who they really are.  That is a tragic way to live.  Yet, it is certainly not impossible to change no matter what their age or where they are at in life.  That is the beauty of being human.  We can change our minds about ourselves and our lives as many times as we see fit.

Any kind of discovery takes a lot of work.  Discovering your own profession, be it as a laborer, a healer, an architect, a scientist, an artist, an actor, or an educator, takes a lot of work through pursuing the skills and education needed to make that dream come true.  No less important, and perhaps even more so,  is the pursuance of understanding oneself and ones own existence.

I love what St. Augustine once said:

“People travel to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and then pass by themselves without wondering.”

We have been given a gift:  Ourselves!  This gift is worth exploring.  The possibilities of its discoveries holds no end.

Some might be tempted to call this journey of true self-discovery, narcissistic.  I can not disagree more.  It is the key to great thinkers and great human beings.  It is a journey not filled with self adulation’s but rather a deeper look into oneself; a look of honesty and true introspection. It is a journey of true humility.

On this path of discovery, it becomes clear that human beings are multifaceted and immensely complicated.  Within each of us resides a vast amount of light – the potential to create good and love in this world, and at the same time, within each of us lies unlimited amount of darkness – that which causes humans to inflict pain, hate, and destruction on each other and on this world. It takes enormous courage to want to discover oneself to its fullest.  It takes vast amount of strength and bravery to look  into the darkest corners of our hearts and minds, without trying to cover up or hide.   Through looking at the darkest parts of who we are we can make a choice to change, or not.   I have the highest regards for those who see themselves as they are.  Moving along in life they find ways to harness and change that dark part of themselves into something good; something that is supportive of who they are and want to be; something that is life giving and not destructive.

When one embraces faith as part of their journey, they will come to believe that the light, the good in them, the ability to create and built instead  of destroying, is greater in them than the darkness that wants to display itself in and through us.  Conscientiously a choice is made which way to project ourselves into the world.  The choice is always deeply personal and always our own.  Always, our own!

Bruce Lee once said that, “All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability.  The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.” This is not only true in the martial arts but also true about the human spirit, soul, and character.  Anyone, who wishes to grow and change,  no matter how young or old they are, can do so by being open minded, flexible, and most of all deeply honest with themselves.   It is the truth of ourselves to ourselves that will set us free from self imposed prisons and torments of restricted believe systems and ill managed relationships.

Knowing your own strength comes with the discovery of who you are.  Truly knowing yourself gives you the perspective you need to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes.   Being yourself allows you to grow and explore;  through understanding yourself comes a greater understanding of the potential that lies within.  I  believe this kind of life lends itself to truer happiness and much greater satisfaction.

It is never too late to become what you might have been.  ~George Eliot




August 16th 2009

The Gift of Silence

Rose with Table Lamp by kennethalan.

Photograph by: K. Alan Lewis

The privacy and clarity of silence
Can cleanse the heart
And heal it more easily and swiftly
Than all the words we so desperately try to find.

Silence gives space to thoughts and images,
Reflecting gently on details
Otherwise lost
In the murky water
Of the noisiness of life.

Silence brings wonder
At life’s meticulous design.
It purifies our surroundings.
Greater yet,
It distills our world within.

All at once we can breathe freely.
Gone is the smothering effect of trying too hard.
Gone is the pressure of fear and pain.

Silence is a great gift to ourselves.
It is a gift we ought at times
Give to others.

~Viola Jaynes





February 14th 2009

Moving Past Disappointment

Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Disappointment often lowers our unseen posture. We feel heavier and a sense of sadness that something we had relied upon, something we had trusted in, or someone we needed, did not come through for us. Perhaps we even feel embarrassed that we were so foolishly relying on something or someone that simply was not what we had expected.

I find that even looking at this word “disappointment” is interesting.  I get the sense of having had an appointment with ourself and the “dis” reveals that we relied upon an outside source which moved us away from relying more fully on our own intuitions and sense of discernment.   Sure, we must rely on the outside world for many things, but my musing takes me to a few questions that perhaps we should answer for ourselves:  “Where do our expectations lie?  Are they from within or from without?  And, why are those expectations there to begin with?

Elliott Larson said, “Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” When I am really honest with myself and take the time to look a little deeper into my own heart, I generally find that when I am short tempered or feeling particularly angry, the root of that so often seems to be that I am carrying a feeling of disappointment with me which has somehow injured me.

Our expectations of others are often so colored by our own unmet needs.  Yes, perhaps that certain someone could have been a little kinder and more gracious, a little more giving of themselves, a little wiser in their dealings, or a little more mature in the way they chose to handle a situation.  However, it would be a good lesson learned to understand that each person struggles with their own insecurities and with their own fears.  Even the strongest among us, the brightest and the most talented, tend to struggle immensely with things which we cannot see.  It is a commonality of us all.

Disappointment tends to diminish greatly when we live in the present moment and we rely on the eternal world within us. I love what Kalidasa said:

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty,
For Yesterday is but a Dream.
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

~Kalidasa

May we carve a tunnel of hope through our dark disappointments.  May we find healing in the wisdom that lies within each of us.  May we be gentle with ourselves as we learn life’s lessons and then use them for our own growth.  And, may we give that which came to us as a lesson, to another, as a gift.




October 15th 2008

Life and Tears


Photograph by: Lionel Bodilis
~Teri~

May you find peace in the midst of turmoil today.
May you find comfort in your own tears.
May those tears flow freely with fond memories to pass on,
And may the presence of your beloved always be in your heart.

I pray for you today, that the joys of yesterday will never be forgotten,
That the pains you shared together have created a lasting bond,
That you embrace yourself gently as you tenderly say goodbye,
And that your goodbyes will only be in passing.

May you find comfort in the mysteries of life and death,
For life brings tears that flow with so much wisdom,
Proclaiming that nothing every really dies but only changes -
And in that change comes greater awareness of the Divine.

~Viola M. Jaynes

*Dedicated to Teri as she finds comfort in her loss.*




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