A truly great man never puts away the simplicity of a child. ~Confucius
I grew up in an orphanage and those childhood years afforded me many opportunities to imagine how it would have felt to have been a part of a more traditional type of family. Since Father’s Day is just around the corner, I would like to write about my childhood dreams of fatherhood.
As a child, when I felt afraid and alone, I would reflect upon what it would have been like to be able to sit on my father’s lap. In my mind, I could see him wiping my tears and giving me a tender kiss on the forehead, and letting me know that all is well with the world. I would imagine my father embracing me at night and wishing me a good night sleep after reading me a bed-time story. Then, I would rest peacefully knowing that my father is always there. I would wonder how my father would handle someone treating me unfairly and wanting to hurt me. In my heart, I would believe that he would be there for me always. My father would right all the wrongs, make dark days brighter, and always be able to bring me to laughter as he would play and rough-house with me. I would feel the safety and the comfort of having a strong and loving father in my life. Those were just some of the dreams I had when I was a child.
I remember one year in the orphanage, when I was about nine years old, we had a sports competition. Among the other children my own age, I had always been the fastest runner in my school as well as in my orphanage. Of course, I was proud of that fact and I poured everything I had into this competition. That year, another girl ended up winning the race, and I went off alone to sit down and cry. I remember feeling so sad mainly because no one really knew how losing that race made me feel. I also realized that I had nobody to even encourage me to try again the following year, and so I simply never entered the competition again. I can only imagine, had there been a father in my life, that situation would probably have been viewed differently. He would have talked with me about the value of character, and how moments of defeat are only opportunities to try even harder the next time, and that the triumph would then be even sweeter. I know that he would have embraced me with his strong arms and lifted me - holding me close to him, and I would perhaps even have felt his heartbeat.
Today, I am the mother of two beautiful children. As I observe their relationship with their father, it moves me beyond words. I see tender moments between them, and it touches me when I see him taking time to encourage them and to teach them the lessons that life offers. It makes me proud when he leaves work early to be a part of one of their special activities or some other performance that they have worked hard to perfect. My daughter and her Papa both love music, and I smile when I hear them play their musical instruments together. When our son decided to join the school orchestra and learn to play the cello, it was wonderful to see how much interest his Papa took in making sure that they chose just the right instrument. Both of our children will always know just how much their father loves them. They also know that their Papa is always going to be there to comfort them and to encourage them, even when things are difficult.
Fatherhood is a very special gift. The pride a father feels the very first time he holds his tiny baby in his strong arms is, to me, the most beautiful ‘poetry’ of tenderness and strength. During that special moment, he ponders all the possibilities for his child, the joys and the pains his children will experience to make them who they will become. That creates in him an enormous sense of responsibility and devotion. His determination to protect is strong, and his desire to meet their needs will be a driving force to help him stand strong even during the most difficult of times.
Fatherhood is not for the weak of heart. It takes an enormous amount of strength and effort to instill in children the love and value their father has for them. It is all too easy to see the negative side of situations, but it takes effort and far more creativity to teach children the valuable lessons that life has to offer. If a father has a willingness to teach by example and to recognize teachable moments, he will know that he has done his job and will eventually see his children mature into kind and loving people. They will honor and love him as they know for certain that they are tucked away in his large and loving heart.
I have long laid my childhood dreams of a father aside, but I am thankful that my husband fulfills them in our children.
Happy Father’s Day!
